Chain’s of Habits.

OUR HABITS, OUR DAILY BEHAVIOURS. Determine how we view ourselves. How we view ourselves directly effects the choices we make.
Habit

Our habits, our daily behaviours

Our Habits, Our Daily Behaviour determine how we view ourselves. How we view ourselves directly effects the choices we make.

“If I view myself as a runner, I run. If I view myself as a fighter, I fight. If I view myself as someone who never follows through, I quit. If I view myself as someone who finds joy in everything, I look for joy. If I view myself as a success, I always look for solutions and follow through with determination and perseverance… quitting is not an option”.

The choices we make daily

determine the quality of our lives. When you make what seems like a harmless decision to repeat an action, thought, words or behaviour, you are laying the solid foundation that habits are built on.

The power in habits is absolutely life altering and… we have the ability to choose our habits.

Never underestimate the power in the little choices you repeatedly make,

It is here that your potential for joy, health and happiness lies. Unleash your true potential, own your power and examine your choices.

Have a good day Wishing you health, peace and empowerment.
Xxx ~J.W~ 🙏🏻💙

What is normal?

I have been thinking a lot about the word ‘normal’ lately

And have been catching up on my feed reading where I have found a mountain of people struggling with situations caused by this word ‘normal’. Whether it be in relation to sexuality and where you fit on the Kinsey scale or whether it be about being gay or whether it be about what is normal for a person of your age it is all very confusing.

Normal, is often perceived by social norms but even that is flawed because it is influenced by how we were raised, the groups we associated with and our personal belief structures. For example I don’t see people who enjoy going out and getting drunk as “normal” or stealing for a living ,challenging and wanting one up on the other all the time however someone who has grown up around that or socialises with people who do that may see that as “normal”  Culturally issues such as being gay may not be seen as normal because it is not common amongst peoples circles and the thousands of years of conditioning that people have received.

I have found that as individuals we each decide what we consider normal. In saying that I have found there is no such thing. Normal simply does not exist. I don’t want to play semantics but to me what we are really saying when we use the word normal or say that some action is not normal is that it doesn’t fit into our reality or it doesn’t fit with what I want in my reality. At this point we can either accept the differences, compromise on behaviours or discard people and situations that don’t meet our idea of normal (reality but loss).

Consider this next time you use the word normal and although I know there are a million scenarios and justifications both legitimate and not, I think and feel the word is just too ambiguous and most of the time doesn’t make a lot of sense.

I just had mention this By society’s conventional standards A very simple idea that can be used to classify abnormal behaviour is personal distress. Basically, if a person is content with their life, then they are of no concern to the mental health field. However, if a person’s thoughts or behaviours are causing them personal discomfort or unhappiness, then they will be considered by the professionals as abnormal.

From small babies to elderly grandparents we have a duty.

The family unit is an inescapable feature of our everyday life .While families should be fundamental to our feelings of wellbeing, they can also be sources of great tension. Whether your problem is troublesome teens, interfering in-laws, competing siblings, demanding parents or ill-mannered children, our guide to family life is an essential tool for domestic survival and it does matter how and what values  you want to choose to put in to
your children before you even start.

Children’s manners are getting worse. Table manners are a thing of the past, respect for elders and parents themselves is out of the window, and so on.

We teach our children to walk, we teach them to talk and, if we want our children to interact  successfully, we teach them manners: not just elbows-in, saying-thank-you manners but how to rub along happily with others – both peers and those of all generations, backgrounds and abilities, and this is what we would consider as normal just remember this: “In children, you will get back what values you put into them ”the same  also works for relationships”.

For parents.

Always try your upmost to lead by example, teach good foundations which is most important. Notice what you dislike in yourself and don’t teach it your children. Be polite at all times, listen carefully if you don’t listen to your children how  do you expect then to listen to you, if you’re a shouting parent you will have shouting kids, act deferentially towards the elderly, show consideration for people in public places of all races. Your
good manners and attitude will inevitably rub off on your children and may bring “back respect” from the lost generation .

From my own experiences of becoming a mother I have learnt the biggest difficulties of today are that no matter what values we do teach our children they are still up against the challenge of the word ” normal” and what is normal as they are always around influences of all sorts. As I said earlier in the article as individuals we each decide what we consider normal… “Normal simply does not exist or does it?”

your views would be most appreciated.

Written by Joanne Wellington for meadum2spirit

Copyright © 2020 JoanneWellington.com copyright  all Rights Reserved.

Human leech problem…Is the process becoming one-sided?

“The Human Leech is whiny”. It thrives on pity and sympathy. The Leech will do anything to gain the sympathy of those


in its surroundings, and hurt those that are not, even if it has to make itself look sad and pathetic. The leech is persistent they will wear you down It’s just the way they are unfortunately for this lifetime and probably Meany more depending on what mind set they are at now!

” GET RID OF THEM!!! You can’t help people that don’t want to be helped”

Human leeches are those people who continually want more from us no matter how much we give them. Yet they refuse to reciprocate our efforts in any appropriate or meaningful ways.

Leeching possibilities are diverse and endless. It could be a grown daughter constantly asks us to baby-sit or to continue to provide for them as you did when children and is incensed when we decline. A neighbour routinely needs us to perform favours or lend him tools, or even expect you to abide by their rules of living yet never offers to feed our cat when we’re away. A co-worker is always happy to join us for happy hour, but disappears when it’s his turn to pick up the tab, in some cases they may offer to be nice to you in some way lend you something and expect a dedicated relationship for there good deed or expect an awful lot form it this is not in there good will its to trap you.

Whatever the circumstances, the result is always the same. Energy in the relationship travels one way. Recipients of leeching feel resentful. They feel they’re being taken for a ride. They long to stop the drain on their time, emotions and finances. Yet they’re frequently at a loss about how to stanch the flow.

Leeching creates a subtle stress that’s often unrecognized until it’s out of control. Many report feeling guilty saying “no” to the leeches’ demands. They dread hurting the chronic takers’ feelings. They worry about damaging the relationship. In truth, leeches don’t respect us anyway not in any way. Our relationships are contorted at best. They only want what we can give them. When the supply runs low, they happily move on to someone else.

Most of us are happy to help others. We’re eager to chip in wherever we can. We have no problem hosting the softball pasta feed on our patio or buying groceries for an ill friend. But if that giving goes on for an extended period of time or if our efforts are underappreciated, hostility starts to creep in. The process becomes one-sided. We know we’re being used.

Of course, sometimes the involved parties aren’t on an equal footing. They can’t give back as much as they get. A frail mother who has broken her hip is going to require on-going attention from her middle-aged offspring. She can’t possibly reciprocate their behaviour.

In those situations, it’s necessary for the adult children to care for the parent, making sure that she is safe and adequately cared for. Hopefully their own children will follow in their footsteps and be kind and attentive as their folks age. It’s important to remember that leeches can’t suck us dry unless we let them. Yes, leeches have poor boundaries. They don’t understand proper protocol. They see no problem continually asking for favours as long as others are willing to comply.

But they must have willing targets who cave in to their insatiable needs. They’re adept at scanning the emotional waters to learn who is willing to give them what they want. Then, once they’ve located a potential host spot, they attach their suckers and refuse to let go.

Tips for losing human leeches

Want to rid your life of leeches once and for all? Try these techniques:

Recognize leeching behaviour. Does someone always make demands on your money or time? Are they unappreciative about what you do? Do you feel resentful about what they’re asking? Do you have trouble setting limits on your relationship? Then you’re involved with a human leech. Do something about it now!

• Avoid over giving. Leeches prey on people who make giving a way of life. Yes, charity is honourable. But don’t chronically overextend. Give only what you comfortably can. Save ample emotional and physical resources for yourself.

• Decide on your personal boundaries. Leeches want you to feel pressured so you’ll say “yes” to their every demand. Instead, back away. Say, “I’ll let you know tomorrow.” Next, go home and analyse what you really want to do. Remember, you’re in charge.

• Practice the 2+1+1 rule. Have trouble setting limits with others? Use this sure-fire ploy: When asked to do something you don’t want to do, say two positive statements (i.e. “Thanks for thinking of me. You know I’d love to help.”), followed by your limit (“But I’m not able to volunteer at this time.”) and one more positive statement (“Hope the event goes well.”).

• Quiet guilt. You fret that your “no” will damage the relationship. Calm your fears. You’re doing the right thing, protecting your boundaries while teaching your leech an invaluable lesson.

• Don’t cave in to leeches’ ranting. Human leeches are accustomed to having their way. If they put up a fuss, feel free to ignore them. They’ll eventually stop whining and move on to someone else they can suck dry.

Leeches ~Are ruled by the green eye monster within them.

Seven steps to reduce your ego,

Have a good day Wishing you health, peace and empowerment.
Xxx ~J.W~ 🙏🏻💙

Copyright © 2020 joannewellington.com

I AM holds a lot of power.

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I AM THAT I AM

Hello my lovelies, I AM holds a lot of power. Words hold a lot of power. When using the spoken word or the written word I try put I AM before most of my affirmations. It solidifies them for me. Try sayinging something with I AM before it. Do it now. Stand or sit up right. Hold up your head and say I AM STRONG. see how it feels. Say it again. Now say I would like to be strong. Feel the difference. Now that is exactly how the Universe hears you so which one do you want the Universe to hear because it will do its very best to give it to you.. On the second statement you had left no time limit. It has no real destination to it. I AM says you are NOW and this is why affirmations need to be said as though they’ve already happened. I know so people struggle to understand that concept but I believe it makes perfect sense. I write affirmations every night, page full and every month I change them around a bit just as things in my life change but there are always the same few personal statements I use all the time. I don’t just think them nor do I just think about how grateful I am either. I write it down every night too. They Continue reading “I AM holds a lot of power.”

2012 ~ The End of Past Failures

Introduction

2012 represents a new beginning for some people. However, past failures can cause many people to lose focus on their goals. In fact, some people give up just when success is right around the corner.  Society classifies a person as a loser by his or her financial success. According to Yankelovich Monitor, 80% of people identify success and accomplishment with being in control of life.  Napoleon Hill, the author of Think and Grow Rich, understood the crippling effects of failure. In fact, he analyzed several thousand men and women (98 percent of this group was classified as “losers”). Napoleon noted: “There are millions of people who believe themselves ‘doomed’ to poverty and failure, because of some strange force over which they believe they have no control.  They are the creators of their own ‘misfortunes,’ because of this negative belief, which is picked up by the subconscious mind, and translated into its physical equivalent.”  It is very easy for most people to point fingers at others for their failures.

FailuresDoNotDefineYouThe Path Forward

Successful people use 2012 as new opportunities for success. If individuals want to achieve something different for the year, they must understand how to manage failure and take control of their own lives. Successful people make it a habit to concentrate their energies on things that they control while victims concentrate on their lack of power.  When a person feels he is powerless, it causes him to be fearful. Doubt and worry contribute to these feelings.  Fear exists in the absence of control. Brian Tracy, author of Advanced Selling Strategies, argues: “The key to a healthy mental attitude is a sense of control, a sense that you are the primary creative force in your life.  It is a feeling that you are in control of what you do and everything that happens to you.”  Too many people focus on things beyond their control. In reality, you can control how you deal with a situation. Many so-called losers spend more time complaining about the things they can’t control. The following suggestions are offered:

  1. Develop a clear sense of purpose.
  2. Practice positive affirmations about yourself.
  3. Learn from past failures.
  4. Analyse successful people’s mistakes and learn how they cope with failure.
  5. Surround yourself with winners.

Conclusion

During these economic times, individuals must gain the tenacity to deal with the negative consequences of failure.  So who hasn’t failed? Helen Keller? Albert Einstein?  Oprah Winfrey? Steve Jobs?   Everyone has had some failures in his or her life.  Successful people rebound from failure.  The key is what you learn from your mistakes and your desire to bounce back from a bad situation.  For example, Thomas Edison, a great inventor, said about his failure, “I hadn’t failed, I’ve found 10,000 ways that don’t work.”  Individuals don’t need to become victims of own self-doubt because no one is destined for failure.  In fact, you don’t need to accept the status of “Loser” on your forehead.  By taking actions today, individuals will start on a new journey toward success.

 © 2012 by Daryl D. Green

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 – About the Author:

About Dr. Daryl Green: Dr. Daryl Green provides motivation, guidance, and training for leaders at critical ages and stages of their development. He has over 20 years of management experience and has been noted and quoted by USA Today, Ebony Magazine, and Associated Press. For more information, you can go to nuleadership.wordpress.com or www.darylgreen.net.