50 Things You Need To Give Up Today

When you stop chasing the wrong things, you give the right things a chance to catch you.

So starting today…

  1. Give up trying to be perfect. – The real world doesn’t reward perfectionists, it rewards people who get things done.  Read Getting Things Done.
  2. Give up comparing yourself to others. – The only person you are competing against is yourself.
  3. Give up dwelling on the past or worrying too much about the future. – Right now is the only moment guaranteed to you.  Right now is life.  Don’t miss it.
  4. Give up complaining. – Do something about it.
  5. Give up holding grudges. – Grudges are a waste of perfect happiness.
  6. Give up waiting. – What we don’t start today won’t be finished by tomorrow.  Knowledge and intelligence are both useless without action.
  7. Give up lying. – In the long-run the truth always reveals itself.  Either you own up to your actions or your actions will ultimately own you.
  8. Give up trying to avoid mistakes. – The only mistake that can truly hurt you is choosing to do nothing simply because you’re too scared to make a mistake.
  9. Give up saying, “I can’t.” – As Henry Ford put it, “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you are right.”
  10. Give up trying to be everything to everyone. – Making one person smile can change the world.  Maybe not the whole world, but their world.  Start small.  Start now.
  11. Give up thinking you’re not ready. – Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises.  Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first.
  12. Give up setting small goals for yourself. – Many people set small goals because they’re afraid to fail.  Ironically, setting these small goals is what makes them fail.
  13. Give up trying to do everything by yourself. – You are the sum of the people you spend the most time with.  If you work together, you will be far more capable and powerful than you ever could have been alone.
  14. Give up buying things you don’t need. – Manage your money wisely so your money does not manage you.  Do not spend to impress others.  Do not live life trying to fool yourself into thinking wealth is measured in material objects.  Read I Will Teach You To Be Rich.
  15. Give up blaming others for your troubles. – The extent to which you can live your dream life depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your life.  When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you give others power over that part of your life.
  16. Give up making mountains out of molehills. – One way to check if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: “Will this matter in one year’s time?  Three years?  Five years?  If not, then it’s not worth worrying about.
  17. Give up trying to live up to the expectations of others. – Work on it for real and exceed your own expectations.  Everything else will fall into place.
  18. Give up the ‘easy street’ mentality. – There is too much emphasis on finding a ‘quick fix’ in today’s society.  For example taking diet pills to lose weight instead of exercising and eating well.  No amount of magic fairy dust replaces diligent, focused, hard work.
  19. Give up making promises you can’t keep. – Don’t over-promise.  Over-deliver on everything you do.
  20. Give up letting your thoughts and feelings bottle up inside. – People are not mind readers.  They will never know how you feel unless you tell them.
  21. Give up beating around the bush. – Say what you mean and mean what you say.  Communicate effectively.
  22. Give up avoiding change. – However good or bad a situation is now, it will change.  That’s the one thing you can count on.  So embrace change and realize that change happens for a reason.  It won’t always be easy or obvious at first, but in the end it will be worth it.
  23. Give up your sense of entitlement. – Nobody is entitled to anything in this world.  We are all equal.  We breathe the same air.  We get what we give.  We get what we earn.
  24. Give up waiting until the last minute. – Those who fail to plan, plan to fail.
  25. Give up being dramatic. – Stay out of other people’s drama and don’t needlessly create your own.
  26. Give up being anti-athletic. – Get your body moving!  Simply take a long, relaxing walk or commit 30 minutes to an at-home exercise program like the P90X workout.
  27. Give up junk food. – You are what you eat.  Read The 4-Hour Body.
  28. Give up eating as a means of entertainment. – Don’t eat when you’re bored.  Eat when you’re hungry.
  29. Give up foolish habits that you know are foolish. – Don’t text and drive.  Don’t drink and drive.  Don’t smoke.  Etc.
  30. Give up relationships with people who bring you down. – Saying “no” to right people gives you the time and resources required to say “yes” to right opportunities.  Spend time with nice people who are smart, driven and likeminded.
  31. Give up being shy. – Network with people.  Meet new people.  Ask questions.  Introduce yourself.
  32. Give up worrying about what others think of you. – Unless you’re trying to make a great first impression (job interview, first date, etc.), don’t let the opinions of others stand in your way.  What they think and say about you isn’t important.  What is important is how you feel about yourself.
  33. Give up trying to control everything. – Life is an unpredictable phenomenon.  No matter how good or bad things seem right now, we can never be 100% certain what will happen next.  So do you best with what’s in front of you and leave the rest to the powers above you.
  34. Give up doing the same thing over and over again. – In order to grow, you must expand your horizons and break free of your comfort zone.  If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting.
  35. Give up following the path of least resistance. – Life is not easy, especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile.  Don’t find the easy way out.  Do something extraordinary.
  36. Give up persistent multi-tasking. – Do one thing at a time and do it right.
  37. Give up thinking others are luckier than you. – The harder you work, the luckier you will become.
  38. Give up filling every waking moment with commitments and activities. – It’s okay to be alone.  It’s okay to do nothing sometimes.  Think.  Relax. Breathe.  Be.
  39. Give up making emotional decisions. – Don’t let your emotions trump your intelligence.  Slow down and think things through before you make any life-changing decisions.
  40. Give up doing the wrong things just because you can get away with it. – Just because you can get away with something doesn’t mean you should do it.  Think bigger.  Keep the end in mind.  Do what you know in your heart is right.
  41. Give up focusing on what you don’t want to happen. – Focus on what you do want to happen.  Positive thinking is at the forefront of every great success story.  If you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you’ll often find that you’re right.
  42. Give up taking yourself so seriously. – Few others do anyway.  So enjoy yourself and have a little fun while you can.
  43. Give up spending your life working in a career field you’re not passionate about. – Life is too short for such nonsense.  The right career choice is based on one key point: Finding hard work you love doing.  So if you catch yourself working hard and loving every minute of it, don’t stop.  You’re on to something big.  Because hard work ain’t hard when you concentrate on your passions.  Read The 4-Hour Workweek.
  44. Give up thinking about the things you don’t have. – Appreciate everything you do have.  Many people aren’t so lucky.
  45. Give up doubting others. – People who are determined do remarkable things.  Remember, the one who says it can’t be done should never interrupt the one doing it.
  46. Give up fussing with every beauty product on the market. – Good looks attracts the eyes.  Personality attracts the heart.  Be proud to be you.  That’s when you’re beautiful.
  47. Give up trying to fit in. – Don’t mold yourself into someone you’re not.  Be yourself.  Oftentimes, the only reason they want you to fit in is that once you do they can ignore you and go about their business.
  48. Give up trying to be different for the sake of being different. – Nonconformity for the sake of nonconformity is conformity.  When people try too hard to be different, they usually end up being just like everyone else who is trying to be different.  Once again, be yourself.
  49. Give up trying to avoid risk. – There’s no such thing as ‘risk free.’  Everything you do or don’t do has an inherent risk.
  50. Give up putting your own needs on the back burner. – Yes, help others, but help yourself too.  If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.

And remember, mistakes make us human, failures help us grow, hope keeps us going and love is the reason we’re alive.  So keep learning, loving and living.  Never give up on yourself.

Full of hatred ..WHY.

~If you keep thinking of all the ways in which others cheated you, fought with you, degraded you or angered and blamed you instead of looking At themselves ; your heart will forever be full of hatred. Learn to let go. And be happy.~

 I am ME Joanne Wellington. I am perfectly imperfect. but I am HAPPY. I am Kind. I am Compassiontionate. I am LOVE. I believe in forgiving everyone for everything so my soul doesn’t get ripped apart. I choose my battles…and  sometimes I don’t its life…its all part of a learning process. I have learned to deeply love myself and to put myself above anyone else first it’s the only way to stay intact don’t let people drag you down in any way as someone will always try . I forgive myself on a daily basis to get through. But I am HUMAN. I am MISTAKES. I am a CYCLE. I don’t HATE. I don’t JUDGE. I don’t ENVY. I am the people who I serve and the people that I hate, therefore, I must treat the people that I love the way I expect to be treated and hate no one. I can only be ME and if that is not good enough for YOU, then go get…. stepping’ *wink* and take care.

 “I DON’T DEAL WITH NEGATIVITY AND PETTINESS”. I am BEYOND that so I will always keep it cool. I demand respect because I WILL NEVER DISRESPECT anyone of you. SO PLEASE COME CORRECT!

Cease all criticism of yourself and others. Accept yourself as you are. Praise yourself as much as you can. Criticism breaks down the inner spirit… of course you know your going threw it, praise builds it up. Look into a mirror often and simply say: I LOVE YOU, I REALLY LOVE YOU AND IM GOING TO LOOK AFTER YOU WELL .


Copyright © 2010,2015 Joanne Wellington All Rights Reserved.

Happiness And peace


The happiest people are those who create life aligned with the positive values of their Spirit 🙂
They remain kind when faced with rudeness 🙂
They stay peaceful when facing conflict 🙂
They are honest 🙂
Happy people choose to repeatedly do the right thing because they know behaving positively is one way to create happiness 🙂
Blessings of much love , pure joy and full awareness…  

________♥ ʟσѵє ♥____________♥ ʟσѵє ♥(
______♥ ʟσѵє ♥(_.•`¯_______♥ ʟσѵє ♥(_.•`¯)♥
____♥ ʟσѵє ♥(_.•`¯)♥ ʟσ___♥ ʟσѵє ♥(_.•`¯)♥ ʟσ
___♥ ʟσѵє ♥(_.•`¯)♥ ʟσѵє ♥(_.•`¯)♥ _______♥ ʟσ
__♥ ʟσѵє ♥(_.•`¯)♥ ʟσѵє ♥(_.•`¯)♥ _________♥ ʟσ
_♥ ʟσѵє ♥(_.•`¯)♥ ʟσѵє ♥(_.•`¯)♥ ʟσѵє_______♥ ʟσ
♥ ʟσѵє ♥(_.•`¯)♥ ʟσѵє ♥(_.•`¯)♥ ʟσѵє ♥(_______♥L
♥ ʟσѵє ♥(_.•`¯)♥ ʟσѵє ♥(_.•`¯)♥ ʟσѵє ♥(_.•`¯__♥ ʟ
♥ ʟσѵє ♥(_.•`¯)♥ ʟσѵє ♥(_.•`¯)♥ ʟσѵє ♥(_.•`¯)♥ _♥
♥ ʟσѵє ♥(_.•`¯)♥ ʟσѵє ♥(_.•`¯)♥ ʟσѵє ♥(_.•`¯)♥ ʟσ
♥ ʟσѵє ♥(_.•`¯)♥ ʟσѵє ♥(_.•`¯)♥ ʟσѵє ♥(_.•`¯)♥ ʟσ
_♥ ʟσѵє ♥(_.•`¯)♥ ʟσѵє ♥(_.•`¯)♥ ʟσѵє ♥(_.•`¯)♥
__♥ ʟσѵє ♥(_.•`¯)♥ ʟσѵє ♥(_.•`¯)♥ ʟσѵє ♥(_.•`¯)
____♥ ʟσѵє ♥(_.•`¯)♥ ʟσѵє ♥(_.•`¯)♥ ʟσѵє ♥(_.•
______♥ ʟσѵє ♥(_.•`¯)♥ ʟσѵє ♥(_.•`¯)♥ ʟσѵє
_________♥ ʟσѵє ♥(_.•`¯)♥ ʟσѵє ♥(_.•`¯)♥
____________♥ ʟσѵє ♥(_.•`¯)♥ ʟσѵє ♥(_
______________♥ ʟσѵє ♥(_.•`¯)♥ ʟσѵ
_________________♥ ʟσѵє ♥(_.•`
___________________♥ ʟσѵє ♥(

☆ * ♥ ¸. • * ¨ `* •.♫. • ☆ * ♥ ¸. • * ¨ `* •.♫. • ♥

Mothers day, mothers are wonderful.

The history of Mothering Sunday.

Most Sundays in the year church goers would worship at their nearest parish or “daughter church”.In olden times it was considered important for people to return to their home or “mother” church at least once a year. So each year in the middle of Lent, everyone would visit their “mother” church. As the return to the “mother” church became an occasion for family reunions when children who were working away from home returned. (It was quite common in those days for children to leave home to work in service from ten years of age.)  historians think that it was this return to the “Mother” church which led to the tradition of children, particularly those working as domestic servants, or as apprentices, being given the day off to visit their mother and family. This special day has now become a time when people give thanks to their mothers and offers an opportunity to express both love and thanks for the work that they do.

mothers are  wonderful despite any hardships or physical capacities, And throughout all of her hard work, no one  should ever see  her fall apart.

Research has shown that people live longer when they are surrounded by people they  love. We are beings that thrive in community and it is not healthy to deny ourselves human contact. For people that live alone, even a pet has been shown to increase the life span for as much as five to seven years. Those of us that have  been blessed with family have been given a gift and should except that gift.  They can join you in time of celebration, lonely moments hard times through hardship and in times of tragedy. Having a family to support you as you go through life is of monumental importance always keep your family close despite highs and lows ins and outs family is family and should always be guarded with a river of unconditional love surrounding them always , as mine taught me.

This is to my mom with love.

There is a woman who always keeps  her head up high, my mother, Her eyes sparkle like a bright star in the sky with  pride  andMy mother admiration towards me, She has the stamina, beauty, and courage that one could admire, Even the love  and happiness that one has to inspire, She is a woman who one can always count on , its my mother

She’s  a woman that sees no wrong , Her beauty shines from the  inside out, It flows like a journey down a long route. Her smile shines beautifully like the sun rising over the horizon, And her intelligence, wisdom, and hard work are not surprising its my mother. My role “model” Is beautiful in body and soul, she taught me to Have courage  for the great sorrows of life along the dusty roads, and patience for the small ones, She is a genuinely caring woman who goes the extra mile , Always holding family close to heart no matter what. she keeps it real, she tells no lies that are hidden in an ocean of deceit. she reveal’s them all and I trust her words sometimes wishing the truth were lies but she showed no regret And I held no grudges as she taught me that’s my mother. And with that I can’t Thank her enough!

There’s no one else who grant’s the same soft place. She gives contentment and sweet release of people’s problems erasing them for just enough time for them to think clearly… and still now whatever fear, stress, or  pain might go to anger. I now that underneath the storm I always have her love.  when I have  accomplished my daily tasks  I think of her knowing  that someone is always there for me its my mother… and with that she will  have unconditional never-ending love returned always thank you mother … those who die and yet do not perish, live on you are one.xxx

Written by Joanne Wellington                                             

Copyright © 2010,2015 Joanne Wellington All Rights Reserved.

Becoming a mother part 2… Why choose material over life itself?

 I woke up one morning with the dawning realization that I was supposed to get a job, go to work and support myself for the rest of my life and having a child on the way it was going to be much harder. And like most middle class kids, I tried to do what the system required of me. Of course I worked part-time, but eventually having another child and having to buy more things… Yes buy things I wanted my children to have it all “who doesn’t”… but why? Well because all the role models around me advocated that kind of path, my parents in a strange way they tried their best my older brothers and sisters and then the partner of all my children… It was the path of materialistic consumerism, of “want” and “buy”. Yes that’s the trap I was not born into but consequently “fell into”, that’s the road I started my journey off on. And I dread the trap I have set out for my children.

Now by 2011, at the age of 33, having reached the end of my rope, having acquired many of the material things such as stereo, lap-top computers, televisions, cars, junk galore, as well as much debt, I have found myself suddenly unemployed, separated from the father of all six of my children, just merely escaping bankruptcy and homelessness oh yeah, and along the way suffered from some kind of illness.( That I’m still unsure of what it may be to this day but just live with it anyhow ). Needless to say I am ready for a change. At this time all I know is that the mounting debt has really taken a toll on me physically, emotionally and mentally. Each time another bill comes in I am ready to scream and pull my hair out.

Now on the cutting edge of learning to go without material things, I have what I have, but it’s not going to last is it? …I can say it seems workable enough as an idea, at least to me… simple, right? Simple…yeah maybe, but certainly will not be easy, as I know I will eventually find out. I know you have probably heard it all before but it’s so true it’s actually so much easier to get into debt and accumulate “stuff “than it is to get rid of stuff and live with less. Present day society is solely based on expanding but why to such extents why? What I wanted to do was move in the other direction, which means I will have to swim upstream to feel the better part of life and I know I will! “Simply because it is in mind”.

The image that has always been in my mind, which has been the yearning in my heart of what I wanted to achieve has always been… “Simple living” the simplest things in life, the things that are mostly free and more importantly yes the littlest things, they really do count, the things that create “precious memories” …. So why didn’t I take that path..! Hmmm well we are allowed to make mistakes yes this is how we learn (the important thing is that we “actually do learn from them “) and by showing my children that they can have the latest thing on the market that they want has indeed been a big mistake…

Imagine a time long ago

Our roots are buried deep in history just imagine a time when our ancestors lived in tribes or clans with no means of communication other than the spoken word, no means of transport other than one’s own feet. Life was harsh in those far off days and if you wanted to eat you had to find your food in your natural surroundings. Wild animals were hunted for meat and clothing and people would forage for edible plants before winter came, food and firewood had to be gathered and stored to last through these difficult times and the night would be cold and dark if supplies ran out. The children, the youths, the maidens, the hunters or warriors, the mothers and the old wise women or medicine women would all be safe in the caves, gathered round a camp fire listening to the stories that the elders would tell. The elders would speak of the things that they had learned from their elders when they were young. Sometimes perhaps they would sing their stories and everyone would join in and share these lessons, their knowledge of the stars and the planets in the night sky gave them the wisdom that helped them to survive in those bygone days…

Well that kind of togetherness is so hard to come across now unless you have some kind of religious support behind you… and to have such commune in the world now we would have to start all over again to bring back such a way as manmade ego rules mostly now, and doesn’t it show with how much suffering there is. I also think that this is where the answers lie as to why? We all ask the same question though don’t we? Why do we have the natural earth disasters the way we do if god does exist? Why such harsh ways? well maybe, just maybe it’s the only way he can get the message across for people to “remember the rest”… to team people back together, to bring back a togetherness because unfortunately that’s what it takes “tragedy” what a shame though, just what a shame… such tragedy and loss on earth for a short time yes, but with the way the world and people communicate today that’s an even bigger loss … It’s a bad sad notion  maybe true but that’s just my theory.

Anyway I will continue… I have thought about it and the idea of washing my body with cold water and eating , rice, pasta, baked beans, baked potatoes, cabbage and sprouts just all the natural things that we can grow ourselves cooked on a real fire supports the image I hold of humble living, of voluntary creative simplicity. I do not view this as poverty it was dam good for me as a child so many good memories I hold … I was just in time to watch my good friend Mr Holyman live in such a natural way doing all for himself even right down to the mangle in his backyard and the soaked up newspaper in rain water in a big drum, then dried out to burn on the fire. Who would have imagine that little dried blocks of newspaper would keep a fire lasting three times longer than just throwing newspaper on as normal, it was sort of like coal… to me it was brilliant and it was good for my grandmother and granddad too, they use to take their horse and cart to the market and sell what they had grown themselves and made a good living out of it… to bring your kids up with such natural things can create “simple living” instead of want, need and greed.

My second 16-year-old daughter didn’t make it.

At 16 my daughter has now left the family home to live with her materialistic boyfriend that buys both her and her love, all this has made her greedy, selfish and self-centred. In getting all she wants from him and his parents how can she, still a child herself refuse such “delights on a plate”. The only thing left for such an act to become possible and to take things out of my hands was for her to become pregnant. Oh god what a plan! but all the teenagers now these days are doing it, most of her friends had already done it too because too much is being put on a plate for them and the tax payers have to pay for it. They are both so young and they were so far apart, and with me now at breaking point, my daughter hating me so much, talking to me in a way I never imagined any of my children would, to say such cruel heartbreaking, devastating words that were so untrue and uncalled for. I finally had to let her go… it was time.

I believe that she thinks that this was for the best for her as they supply all her material needs the way she wants them supplied. But in reality she with her first daughter on the way, moving 125 miles away from all she knows I can only image how that must feel, and to watch her make all the same mistakes that I made at that age her with her baby’s father, he has already shown what values he is going to put in to their child by him telling me that my grandchild will hate me. She has believed as I did at that age that the father of my children was going to be good for my children… don’t get me wrong I care much for him still, he’s the father of my children, but he has indeed made it very impossible for me and the children to love and respect him the way he had desired. It’s not all bad just very sad but that’s another story as I said before and I may well bring to you one day.

It is worse and more painful for me to watch because of the way she’s been mislead or how she imagines’ that it may be for her and after all the guidance I could give her. How could they the boy’s parents support such acts of their sons selfish wants just to keep her? It’s like “mommy I love this girl I want to keep her can I?” Just as if she were a toy in a shop window, but this a real person they have done this to “my daughter“and I know that resentment towards him will set in along the lines… I just don’t know how anyone could do this I certainly couldn’t have without speaking face to face with the other parents… It is known that the other son also tried the same with my older daughter, but thankfully she did realise what was going on. I nearly lost them both to the same family. I suppose maybe the parents act this way because they always wanted a daughter of their own as they have just the two son’s and having made a similar mistake as me with providing the material things to support their boys “wants” not “needs” out of love for them, but with them doing it without any rewarding morels behind the act’s its horrid to see, the one thing I always made sure of when providing anything material for my children.

The way it worked out for us and the only responsible way and not just because  there being so many of them, is that our material things have always been brought for the home, for family living, for all to share, so not too much has been given to them personally. But they have “always” been provided with things that they “need” such as clothes, shoes, little bits of jewellery and so on. It has also been done this way to teach them that what is given is to be respected and appreciated, it has been explained to them the “how’s“ and “whys” behind whatever was given simply to let them know that life is not just about receiving. Well my lost /stolen daughter certainly appreciates this family for what they give her for herself personally, the things that I couldn’t give her.

As I mentioned in part one of my multi section topic/project teens can be mislead. In lots of cases teens do get too carried away with the way other people around them are, their friends and their relatives the people we bring our children up to love naturally. But sometimes even they have not quite grasped the importance of life lessons themselves, school life, boyfriends/girlfriends, parents and yes me in this case. Disciplining methods such as rewards, consequences, and manipulation are actually the LEAST effective methods of getting your child to listen and cooperate as I realised a few years ago. If you repeatedly use this method the same will happen to you that have happened with my two oldest children. My 18-year-old still struggles now to want to achieve or carry on with anything without some kind of a reward afterwards, but a little allowance has to be made as she does suffer with ADHD, but does it though hmm??? She was only 1lb 13oz born and is very lucky to still be around as she was born 13 weeks early.

I noticed a selfish pattern of “want” and “greed” developing in my daughters, I felt so, so ashamed of myself and thought is this really what I have done for wanting the best for my kids? By the time my oldest was 13½ I was on a new mission … naturally I started to refrain and held back on some of the things they were asking for, not that I could afford them anyway, that’s not the point . I would get for them all the basic things that they all needed, plus a little extra, but to her I was being nasty and spiteful and cruel (because she wanted the “brand name” goods) plus all the other things she could think of to throw at me. This daughter really did set out to hurt me yes hurt but “why” I never brought her up this way and if your children talk down to you after years of them not doing such a thing, it hits you damn hard. She wanted what all her friends had and the friends she did have were the type that treated their parents with contempt and disrespect too. Why she chose these friends I don’t know but I always did say to my children never sit and watch anyone be bullied and never judge people for the way they look, and if someone is left out those are the ones you need stay closer to…well both my girls did listen to that and befriended those types of people. I have had to pay the price for that and so will they making their own lives’ much tougher and challenging.

I also believe the similarities in behaviour and dysfunction in some children are not only due to the actions of genes or other hereditary influences. Rather, the similarities result from a child then, teenager and adult enacting subconscious negative agreements and selfish behaviour pattern-ideas that were taken-on (downloaded) from the parent displaying similar behaviour. This subconscious child-to-parent agreement and pattern idea transfer will make the child appear “like” that parent but because teens do not wish to be like their parent at all at this age then this is where the fight begins…

My second daughter unfortunately hasn’t downloaded any of the good and well needed points in her life but all the bad points of her big sister that suffers ADHD, her dad’s faults and also my own faults not to mention all those from people outside of the family. She is such a bright beautiful clever girl, but she has used all the bad parts of her past to abuse her future rather than to help her as I have. I use the bad to better my future the bad inspires me to do and want better. She has also indeed chosen material and money over” life itself” making her first steps in life all that much more difficult to become lost, lonely and fully dependant on a boy, a new baby and a bunch of strangers that she doesn’t really know.

All I can say is I see clearly the cost of such luxuries in terms of what I am required to do, to make the money to maintain our children’s respect (” hmm if we allow it this way yes”) well that’s how it seems sometimes and that’s just wrong… I have to say that I’m not willing to pay that price of losing anymore children to the outside world through pc’s and phones for want and greed. It seems harder for me to go to work full-time, month after month, year after year, wasting away my life and the short time we do have with our children in order to pay for things that are considered the normal things of life now; guess what? It’s not normal! It was not meant to be this way just too much is expected from our children now and I know half  of the people who read this will know I’m right just too much is expected.

There is actually little evidence to me that all of these labour-saving devices have actually improved the quality of my life or the children’s. Actually it is just the opposite. Having and doing all these things , I have had very little time for myself and also my children have had very little time for me… just want, want, want. It is changing now I choose more to read, to learn and to teach, this doesn’t mean I’m not normal, it means I am, also to practice yoga, to meditate, to visit with like-minded friends ,spend more time with my children making the quality of my life and their life much better, more enjoyable,valuable and rewarding.

Because if you think about it …Is a tap with hot water coming out of it really that valuable? Just look at what a person has to do just to have this convenience. First you must have some money to buy the fixtures, the water heater, the fuel, etc. This requires a job. To have a job, one needs transportation, such as a car. The car requires fuel, maintenance and insurance. To pay for this requires more money or a loan, which demands full-time employment. Then there are the requirements on the job such as a nice wardrobe, time restrictions, and extra costs for day-care, commuting hassle…it goes on and on. All because we want hot water to come out of the tap!

And that’s just one little aspect of what we want. There are other things too, like nice furniture, cable TV, mobile phones and fax machines. Of course there is little time left after working all day so we need ready-quick-fix meals, which are expensive. Then we feel stressed from working all day so we need to relax at the health club once or twice a week or play golf or tennis whatever takes our fancy. That keeps us away from home too, so we need to make it up to the kids by taking them to the movies or maybe buy them the latest toy to relieve our guilt for not being with them. But do we really know what damage we are doing to them by doing such things? There will be a time when this child grows to leave home to fend for themselves “then what” we carry on supplying them? but that’s what they expect in most cases “and how “it will hit them hard because they are so used to receiving and they now have to learn the very thing we were trying to protect them from now they have to learn how not to receive without us …”simple living” is one of the most valuable things we can teach our children.

I think the things that are going to make it possible for me to accomplish “simplicity” now is not only the love and help I have had from my children & my loved ones but also from all the people who have really hurt me it has all helped me to reach the understanding I have now, and for me accepting my mistakes and changing them for a better, “mind-set” it’s so dam easy ,changing your mindset can be done in seconds you should try it, also my love of philosophy, yoga and the romantic ideal of spiritual asceticism will also help. It is the idea of living in small spacious open dwellings, fresh air, sitting quietly and meditating, with my thoughtful prayers that really do get answered! (because I accept them as they come no matter what form they come in), painting my own art, and sitting in the lamp lit darkness, enjoying humble simple meals, good conversation with my children and friends listening to what they have to say and no distractions… sort of similar to the way life use to be with a togetherness that is and has slowly been disappearing from our children’s knowing and knowledge of life.

What I’m trying to say is … I started going through all the waves of every one of my memories I have and it has evolved into the idea that experiences and memories will always be worth more than possessions which a lot of people do choose “I did once” I worry sometimes that the rest of my kids may suffer the same as I have and it is my daughter’s recent actions that has set me off on such a blog for the public , I just hope my realisations and me sharing this will indeed benefit my children’s parenting and anyone else’s growing future that follows any similar patterns.

I now choose the simplest things in life primarily because I feel dissatisfaction in having so many material things. To me, life is not about having and getting, it’s about experiencing fulfilment and satisfaction through being , giving ,sharing and most of all having many precious happy memories to look back on, to keep me going forwards and to take with me when I leave. “Simple living” It’s possible to be very comfortable, by making only a few modifications in lifestyle and attitude concerning money and material things.

A Life of Possessions:

Your new shoes will eventually be old.

Your new flat screen TV will eventually be obsolete technology.

Your new purse will eventually be out of fashion.

Your new toy will eventually be boring to play with and you’ll want another one.

Your new car will depreciate once you drive it off the lot.

Your new house will eventually be old.

Every material thing that’s newly acquired will eventually be old. (You can add to that, when you die you can’t take a single one of these things with you).

A Life of Experiences:

The thousands of waves ridden over a lifetime will leave permanent imprints on my memory and I’ll take them to the grave I will take them when I cross over.

The friends you spent your birthdays with will always trump the gifts you got. I can’t remember what I got for most of my birthdays but I remember spending each one with the most important people in my life. I can take every birthday with me when I go.

Travelling across the world, you’ll experience different cultures, meet interesting people, have wild experiences, sometimes near-death, live to tell the stories, which get passed on from generation to generation and you can take them all with you when you go.

First kisses, wedding days, kids being born and every god give moment good and bad are all experiences. Some of them are life-changing but of importance. I’m not too educated on most of these minus the first kisses, but I would imagine these are the kinds of experiences that you will always have in your heart and mind. You can take them all with you when you go.

The mountains we climb, the sunsets at the beach , the downtown skylines, the views from the peaks of every city are all experiences that we can always go back to just through the power of imagination . You’re free to take it all with you when you go.

A life of experiences is far richer than one of possessions when you’re faced with the end. Those who have a life of experiences die rich. Those who have a life of possessions may die rich, but will find themselves empty-handed once they cross over to the other side. There’s a physical limit on possessions and a life of experiences is a life without limits.

Written by Joanne for Mediums World

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