Becoming a mother

“Being a mother is so  fulfilling, loving,  but also more excruciating than anything I’ve ever done in my life”. Irene Wellington (my mom always said).

“The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before”. 

“Being a mother is so  fulfilling, loving,  but also more excruciating than anything I’ve ever done in my life”. Irene Wellington (my mom always said).

When I was 16 years old, I never made it to high school, instead I gave birth to a child, now I have six children ranging from five to eighteen years. I have three girls, three boys and yes being a mother-of-six I find it very exhausting at times.

My mom used to say it doesn’t matter how many kids you have because one kid  will take up 100% of your time, so more kids can’t possibly take up much more… hmmm don’t know why I believed that? Never the less I do have to say “fulfilling is what I mean”,, in every way because every minute, every hour, every day, every week of every year I never go short of new experiences and  constant challenges and changes as they have grown.

I have  grown with, gone through, found and lost so much, my life has indeed been a series of coincidences and sometimes life-shattering events, to get to how I understand and view life as I do now, since becoming a mother. But I  know  the loses have  always been in the best interests of me and my family.

My own life experiences have shown me that individuals can and do create their own futures by using the power within themselves  Its is case of having to stay strong, positive and true to yourself always  holding good intentions every step of the way which will serve you greatly, and we have to for them our children as much as ourselves, learning from mistakes and forwarding yourself for the better on a constant basis.

Trust me when you have brought up children, there are memories you store directly in your tear ducts good and bad… I want to share some of my knowledge with you today.

The way I see life is;  by learning you will teach, by teaching you will learn because in real terms that’s what motherhood is all about, besides all the rest, which I will talk a little about in part two “Why chose material over life itself.” We, us, our children are both teacher and learner, they us as much as we teach them, and learning is “a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere”.

I believe that anyone who stops learning is old, whether this happens at twenty or eighty and anyone who keeps on learning not only remains young beside their children, but becomes constantly more valuable regardless of physical capacity and this is what’s important for our family’s….. Its how its meant to be…

It’s not only children who grow, parents should do too.  As much as we watch to see what our children do with their lives, they are watching us to see what we do with ours. So much strength and will power is needed for most part of the way and if you have those two besides much love to give you are well on your way to becoming a good mum.

I wanted to be a mother simply because I had such a humongous load of love that I felt  I needed to share and I guess I wanted someone to love me like  I loved my mom. I also wanted to experience the bonding process that everyone talked about as I grew up  and wanted to experience what my own mother called “the most wonderful, terrifying, fulfilling, loving but excruciating thing that life has to offer.” With a description like that I knew I had to check it out and boy it is exactly that.

A lot of things have surprised me about motherhood. The most obvious is how much work it is and how much I don’t like it sometimes. And how hard it is for people to come right out and say that parenting is a raw deal at times.

They do mention the incredible highs and the fierce love and protectiveness that balances it all out, but I think the one needs the other in order to BE balanced. I believe in telling it like it is so that fewer women will not  be bitterly disappointed when the fantasy they’ve been fed all their lives turns out to be only half-true.

Since I became a mom, my relationship with my mother improved, not that it was that bad  but we all go through it at some point. Most teens think life is bad  and life is treating them unfair at the time but I want to remove the veils of serenity and satisfaction and reveal what I hold to be the truth: that teenage years of motherhood are physically difficult and can be emotionally devastating. 

But I have learnt that being a mom makes me appreciate  greatly what my mother went through for me and my siblings. Not only did my mother experience physical pain, she experienced mental pain throughout with eight children all in all each having very different  personalities between them. I am experiencing the same similar pain with my teens right now talk about karma.

I now realise more than ever that when she said she was doing it “because she loved me”, she meant it. Even though I never believed her when I was a teen, she was not just being mean and telling me no to tell me no. There was a reason why she set rules and stuck to them.

When my mom told me not to do what my friends were doing, there was a reason and when she took material off me it was a way to make me see reason I now realise that.  If only I had listened and had more faith in her words back then. It is known that all these events are what have made me who I am today. Good mothers truly do have their children’s best interest at heart. I appreciate and love my own mom more because of my children .

Despite all the highs and lows  being a mother means always giving your child a port in any storm, someone he/she know that’s he/she never has to hesitate to come to with any problem, any issue, any concern and listen to. Someone that he/she knows will always be understanding and compassionate and above all will always love them.

I tell my son’s and daughters that I may get mad at them from time to time. I may not like some of the things they choose to do, but my love for them can never and will never waver no matter what and where ever life may lead them. I will always be right there and this will last the rest of my life,.. it isn’t like a pet where you make a commitment for upwards of the next 18 years tops.

A lot of people have this vague notion that once a child turns 18 a parents job is done. If you’re one of them I suggest getting a pet instead of having child .. Look making the decision to have a child is momentous.  It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.

“In all things that you can buy you will get what you paid for… In  children, you will get back what values you put into them”.

Really think about the kinds of values you would want to install in your children. The brain of a child is like a little sponge, it will soak everything up, hold it for as long as it can and then it will wring itself back out. If you want what comes back out of their sponge to be clean for them, then guess what? You need to be completely accountable for your actions.

If you are not ready for near total accountability, you are not ready to have children. I am a capable human being but there have certainly been times where I have literally curled up into a corner and had myself good, heart-wrenching sobs. In those moments I felt there was no possible way I could continue to go on doing what needed to be done but the important thing “never” stop questioning, because curiosity has its own reason for existing .

Children, unfortunately do not come with “time-outs,” however, their needs must be met. In those times I have always managed to pick myself back up and continue to be the capable human being my children deserve and have helped make me.

Don’t worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you!  and If you have never been hated by your child  at some point you have never been a parent. I wont lie I have made mistakes we all make mistakes. It is part of the learning process. Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new to better their life.

Are you the kind of person who can learn from those mistakes? Can you admit that you were wrong to your children in parts when you have made a mistake? If you are not a big enough person to admit to a child you have made a mistake you will lose their respect or is it the other way round as some think hmmm.

Well Losing a child’s respect is the first step down a slippery slope towards losing their trust. Once that has happened… It can be game over and leave you thinking what was the point in being a parent at all ..just remember being a parent is “far” from being a game.

” If we allow it our children can “make” or “devastate” our lives “.

Setting the right foundations from the very beginning, from the moment they start watching  you is so important, and continuing throughout as they grow. It Is an important part of our parenting involving making decisions, having responsibilities and having duties to perform.

Sometimes we may wonder how to achieve a balance with these different demands they are conflicting for many people ….the first step to finding a balance is by holding a positive mind-set around them even through the bad, the bad is there for a reason it helps change our way of thinking for the better but you have to believe this (positive mind set)…love is also a very  important need a desire in our children’s life as in ours just noticing this is a simple route to happiness its around us today and everyday…love and balance…

There’s a vital investment that pays huge dividends’ in terms of increasing energy, motivation, and inspiration to go forwards investing these values in your children  can  show higher levels of good emotional adjustment for when they become teens . But in minute cases  this is still not  enough for some children “its not always your fault” understanding and managing  their young raw feelings is very, very difficult for them, this I learnt myself as a teen. 

I have watched  with  my own children as they have become teens. I know I’m a good mom and  I have tried to the best of my ability to do right by all my children  it come’s with the territory and that’s what counts for a lot …

Through all the most important is staying true to yourself always.  ..now the father of my six children is a whole new story that I may bring to you one day.

Most of us become parents long before we have stopped being children ourselves, its nothing new and if there is anything that we wish to change in the child, we should first examine it and see whether it is not something that could better be changed in ourselves first..!  but for now I will continue .

A question that has to be asked  WHY do adults constantly argue and fight and put each other down in front of children?.

Its very difficult for  children to have  respect for Parents these days, when they witness their own Parents have no respect for each other. Some people do not seem to see that arguments, fights, separations and divorces all stress out children even as early as 2 years old. I have seen the effects for myself with my own  family and  friends .

They do grow up to become insecure and some, but not all are so lost and confused with so many steps parents or half siblings that they feel unwanted, unloved then in teens they become confused and mistake friendship, lust for love and cannot understand WHY no one wants or loves them… girls and boys both feeling as if they are the wrong ones… some even become homosexual due to being scared or of history repeating itself.

Some swear never to have children, never to get married, never fall in love or anything. Some land up smoking, drinking alcohol or on drugs. Some feel as if they have no home, feel as they were never a part of a family, end up homeless or end up in gangs as they feel so unwanted at home or are just “getting in the way”.

In lots of cases teens do get too carried away with the way other people around them are, their friends and their distant family members that we bring  our children up to love naturally, but  sometimes they have not quite grasped the importance of life lessons themselves, school life, boyfriends / girlfriends, their reality seems much more easier to them at this time in there life and  can very easily make them lose track and slip..

They cant resist to morph there friends.  It is very tough for them but sadly no matter how hard we try as the responsible one’s to  help them understand  facts THAT they really need to know… we “will ” indeed only push them further away and it is up to us to determine when it is time to stop and let them be, to find out for themselves, whether we may agree or not.

It dose kill you to see them grow up and go through these things.  But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn’t. Just don’t handicap your children by making their lives to easy. If you want children to keep their feet on the ground, put some responsibility on their shoulders.  

Too often we can give children the answers too easily to remember, rather than problems to solve. They have more need of modules than of critics this will help them tremendously, ready for their own journey.

All in all even when you have done and tried your best with all the knowledge, the knowing and power we may have inside us, finding the balance between being  parents and a friend to our teens can be very difficult.  We have to face it we just have to realise that we can’t help some people, even our own that just don’t want to be helped. And when you feel the life force being drained right from your body that’s the time to seek help on a professional level.

We must not forget that no one person is the same and we can never expect any of our children to be just like us, it very rarely turns out that way. With them out there in the real world as they call it, they will adopt surrounding habits without fail for some parents this can be an horrific learning curve it certainly has been for me with my girls.

We have to remember that one day our children actually need and do want  to try to have their own  independence, and it means to them as much as our independence means to us. It doesn’t matter whether they are ready or not  “A fact all parents have to face”  and if our children do get caught up in such situations we can only guide them the best we can.

Remember the old saying  in spiritual terms  “they don’t belong to us, they are only borrowed” but at the same time letting them know that yes we are all different and that’s OK.  Being the perfect person is “impossible” .

What would be the best gift you could give to your child ?  I believe it is love, time, and simple living.

We just have to have faith in remembering the foundations that we set in the beginning from our good intent hearts that one day from the moment that their child is born, that  the mother and father in them will also born. That they will see “the light”  the love the care and all the good intent that was always intended for them all along… “it will be seen” and will also be installed in their children.

We just have to hold on stay strong and be there ready to  forgive any unfortunate events  that have indeed been created and for a very important reason”  “their journey”, “their life’s lessons”. In some cases letting go is the right choice and as we all know every situation is different. Life is what it is and what we ourselves make it.. we are who we are, we are where we are, because of our personal life’s journeys.

“Before I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children, and no theories. Just intelligence through growth and a mothers love”.

“Before I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children, and no theories. Just intelligence through growth and a mothers love”.

Being a mother is a great learning process … if you think about it, our story’s are still being written with each new day, where you have a chance to collect yourself and prioritise with what is most important to you.

Changing your frame of mind for the better can bring wonderful new changes that little bit closer, taking it as an opportunity to reinvent yourself and find a passionate life that is right in front of you. God bless you all as my dad always said and please take care of each new day as you make your countless choices.

How can we be sure we are making the right decisions? Here are a few suggestions:

1. Be aware of where the road leads

Choose intelligence. Not every decision we make is a moral choice. Sometimes its just a matter of choosing between stupidity and intelligence. For example, if you are a young non-smoker and your friend offers you a cigarette, don’t take it. That would be stupid.

If your looking for the path to happiness, it is easy to find. Just avoid the paths with signs that say STUPID and follow those that say SMART. Easy enough to do, but you have to remember to check the signs before you start down a path. As Harry Emerson Fosdick wrote, “He who chooses the beginning of a road chooses the place it leads to. It is the means that determine the end.”

Whenever we are at a fork in the road, we will find that one of the paths is easy to take, but that may be the only thing good about it. So, look carefully.

You may find that one path tempts you and the other ennobles you. Choice the one that ennobles you. Learn how to withdraw from temptation. For as it is written in the Bhagavad Gita, “Even as a tortoise draws in its limbs, the wise can draw in their senses at will.”

Besides the paths of SMART and STUPID or GOOD and BAD, there is yet another road, and it leads nowhere. It is the road of non-action. It is the path of no-choice. Whenever we face choices and refuse to decide, that refusal is our decision. By refusing, we turn over control to the tides of fate, and instead of shaping our lives, we decide to drift wherever the tides and currents will take us.

2. Do what you can

Decide what you CAN do, not what you WANT to do. Our wants are insatiable. We want to do everything. But how can we become anything if we want to become everything? Choose worthwhile goals that you have time for. Set priorities and focus on the important issues. If you run out of time before getting to the minor tasks, at least you would have done the important ones.

Choose to carry out your responsibilities not because you HAVE to, but because you WANT to. Tasks that you HAVE to do create pressure and stress. Actions that you WANT to do, lead to the joy of accomplishment and freedom from inner conflict. Choose to learn how to WANT to do those, tasks that you should be doing. For in the end, you will do only what you want to do. Similarly, when you cant have what you want, choose to want what you have.

3. Look for the good

Some of us may be undergoing great hardships. But no life is so difficult that it cannot be made better by improving our attitude. No matter how dire the circumstances, if you look for some good, you will find it. But how can we find anything good if we occupy our time complaining? The rule to remember is that we are certain to find what we look for.

If we search for good, we will find it. If we search for something to complain about, we will surely find it. Choose to search for good. And choose to believe something good can and will happen. Choose to live with hope, rather than despair. Don’t be a dope. Learn to cope. Live with hope.

4. If you cant change the circumstances, change yourself

We cannot choose what will happen to us, but we can choose what happens IN us. That is, we can choose to have the right attitude, one in which we view challenges as opportunities instead of problems. Choose to be positive.

For example, although he became confined to a wheelchair after his accident, W. Mitchell (author, TV host, and businessman) said, “Before I was paralysed there were 10,000 things I could do; now there are 9,000. I can either dwell on the 1,000 I’ve lost or focus on the 9,000 I have left.”

5. Be aware of your choices

When we act out of habit rather than conscious choice, the path we are travelling on is a rut, perhaps even a slippery slope. If we don’t want to end up at the wrong place, we have to be awake. We have to be aware and make our choices consciously.

The best way to do this is to develop the habit of always looking for opportunities. Scout Cloud Lee also writes about conscious choice: “When we acknowledge that all of life is sacred and that each act is an act of choice and therefore sacred, then life is a sacred dance lived consciously each moment. When we live at this level, we participate in the creation of a better world.”

Look around you. There are great people everywhere. Champions, victors. And they’re all rooting for you. They are voting for you because they want you to win. Unfortunately, you are also surrounded by losers, people who want to drag you down. They are voting against you. Half are for you. Half are against you. How will this closely contested drama turn out? It all depends on you because you will be casting the deciding vote. The ballot is the choices you make. Be careful how you choose!

6. Never Stop  Dreaming, Loving, Trying, Learning, Believing, and Being Unstoppable.

If you have love in your life, it can make up for a great many things you lack. If you don’t have it, no matter what else there is, it’s just not enough… like they say, if you don’t have love in your heart, you are the poorest of the poorest.

The only way to retain love is to give it away. The love we give away is the love we receive back, Love grows by giving an sharing. Just ENJOY each moment, this moment, no matter what. To embrace and inhale the pleasure, joy, and divine perfection of each and every minute good and bad they are there for a reason”.

Copyright © 2010,2015 Joanne Wellington All Rights Reserved.

Teenagers mostly ~THE LAST WORDS.

One day a girl, Sara, who was fifteen years old, came home from school in a very bad mood. She’d had a fight with her best friend that day and it hadn’t turned out well at all.
“Sara!” her mom yelled. “What are you doing? You know to do your chores right when you get home! And you’re late!””Coming, Mom!” Sara yelled, getting up and stomping towards the kitchen. “What?” she snapped as her mother gave her a stern look, annoyed.
“You’d better straighten up your attitude, young lady,” her mom warned, “or you’ll be grounded.”
“Whatever.” Sara began to throw around the dishes in the sink, trying to make as much noise as she possibly could. A plate cracked and cut her hand. Sara cursed.
“Sara!” her mom exclaimed. “How dare you use that language! Go to your room!”
“No!” Sara yelled, throwing down the towel she was using to wipe the blood off her hand.
“Do you want to say ‘no’ one more time and see what happens?” her mom asked. She looked furious.
“Sure,” Sara said sarcastically. “No.”
“How dare you!” Her mother slapped her.
Sara shrank back, staring incredulously at her mom. She had never hit Sara before.
“I HATE YOU!” Sara screamed before running out of the house.
“Sara, get back here!” her mom yelled, running after her.
“Leave me alone!” Sara screamed, running across the street. “I HATE YOU!” she screamed again.
She continued running until she heard the sound of screeching tires and a scream. She turned around, hoping that it wouldn’t be what she thought it would be….
People were crowding around Sara’s mother, who was laying in the middle of the street, looking broken, bloody.
“NOOOO!” Sara screamed, running over and pushing through everyone to kneel by her mom. “Oh no, oh no….”
Her mom wasn’t moving or breathing. She was gone. Sara tipped back her head and wailed to the sky, sobbing so hard it hurt.
She couldn’t believe the last words she had spoken to her mother were “I hate you”.
LESSON: To everyone out there who tells your parents or friends you hate them, or any other rude thing, or you distinctly know they are hurting … Remember it might be the last thing you ever say to them.!

Friendship ~ An offspring of Spiritual affinity.

I was doing some thinking today about Friendship and what all it means and implies, it’s obligations and so on. The most important thing to remember is… Always appreciate the friends that you have. A fight may come and go very easily, but a friendship could last forever.  For every second spent in anger, a minute of happiness is wasted. Most people walk in and out of your life. But only true friends leave footprints in your heart.

friendshipWhen we look back on our younger years, we will remember the people who went to school with us, the people who made us laugh, the people who hung out with us when nobody else would, and the  people who made our lives much better simply by being a part of it. Good friends are hard to find, harder to leave, and impossible to forget. The language of friendship is not in words but in their meanings.

True real friendships are hard to come by. That is why you need to know the meanings and signs of a true real friendship. It is extremely important to know your true real friends. As you read on below, try and picture your ‘true real friends’ and try and decide whether are they as true and as real as you think they are.

Everyone has friends and need friends. People that we interact with everyday in school, at work, in the same apartment, in the metro,at the gym, the list goes on. But I always believe in quality, not quantity. I would rather have a few true friends than a hundred of  regular friends (like on Facebook). Everyone is different and have different perspectives on true friendships but there are some fundamentals for a true friendship that you can’t overlook.

Firstly, this person or true friend needs to give you a huge sense of trust. You need to see this person and believe, “I trust them and want to share everything with this person.” Can you trust them with your secrets? Trust them with your girlfriend or boyfriend? Trust them with your problems or embarrassing moments? These are all things to take note of. It is not easy to feel this way about someone but I have found such friends, and I believe that it is possible for you to find a true friend you can call your own.

Secondly, imagine it is  3 AM in the morning. You met with something unfortunate, let’s say your car broke down. You think of all the ‘friends’ that you have and you slowly make a note of who will actually help you. Finally you settled on someone who might help and called him or her. What would his or her response be? Irritation? Frustration? Or someone who will sacrifice their sleep to get out of bed to either pick you up or assist you by giving you a list of numbers which you can get for help. Let’s say it’s something serious. You really really need someone to talk to in the middle of the night, you’re so desperate you need someone to talk to. Will your ‘friend’ be that someone? A true friend would, no matter how tired they are.

Another sign would be that you will never get tired of a true friend’s company. And vice versa. You all can remain silent and will not feel awkward about it. It sounds very much like a fairy tale but it is true. They will never ever judge you as well. No matter what you did, that person would be there beside you, and correct you if you are really in the wrong, but he or she will never judge you and gossip about you behind your back. A true friend loves without condition and will not expect anything in return.

Of course this gets a little complicated with the opposite sex. It is a fact that when a male and a female gets closer, one of them is bound to start wondering if things can be developed further. The trouble comes in when only one of them is feeling this way. For example, the other party might start expecting to be loved back or might expect you to feel the same way about them. Attraction is tricky business. Therefore, this is one thing that one must be aware of, so that you will know how to handle it when it comes.

True real friends double your happiness and half your burdens. Basically how you would like a true real friend to be, you should be like this to your true friends. Trust, forgiveness,bonding and accountability are some ingredients of a true friend. True friendships are hard to come by. And what’s more, life is short. So treasure these friends if you have already have them. If you don’t continue to search, because once you have them, life becomes so much easier to live, no matter what happens. I have been through pretty rough patches and I dare say, without my friends I would not have made it.

Friendships need lots of energy and patience to maintain them. Not to mention time too. When your friend needs you, sometimes when things are not going too well on your side, it is often so easy to turn a deaf ear to their pleas. It is especially during these times, that you must find the strength in you to help your friend. And it is during these times that your friendship will be forged and made stronger.

And you must always be happy for their successes, even when things are not going too well on your side. It might be hard to do for some people but it is something that you need to learn. Think about all the sacrifices your friend has made for you and all the times when he or she was happy for you despite his or her own troubles.

Think about all the happy times you all enjoyed and the sad, rough times you all went through together. That should give you sufficient patience to actually be a true friend for them. Remember, true friends are the next best thing to family. They will always be your pillar of support no matter what. Always.

Here I would like to narrate a short story regarding the need of friendship and true friends..

My mother used to ask me what is the most important part of the body. Through the years I would take a guess at what I thought was the correct answer. When I was younger, I thought sound was very important to us as humans, so I said, “My ears, Mommy.”

She said, “No. Many people are deaf. But you keep thinking about it and I will ask you again soon.”

Several years passed before she asked me again. Since making my first attempt, I had contemplated the correct answer. So this time I told her, “Mommy, sight is very important to everybody, so it must be our eyes.”

She looked at me and told me, “You are learning fast, but the answer is not correct because there are many people who are blind.”

Stumped again, I continued my quest for knowledge and over the years, Mother asked me a couple more times and always her answer was, “No. But you are getting smarter every year, my child.”

Then last year, my Grandpa died. Everybody was hurt. Everybody was crying. Even my father cried. I remember that especially because it was only the second time I saw him cry. My Mom looked at me when it was our turn to say our final goodbye to Grandpa. She asked me, “Do you know the most important body part yet, my dear?”

I was shocked when she asked me this now. I always thought this was a game between her and me. She saw the confusion on my face and told me, “This question is very important. It shows that you have really lived in our life. For every body part you gave me in the past, I have told you were wrong and I have given you an example why. But today is the day you need to learn this important lesson.”

She looked down at me as only a mother can. I saw her eyes well up with tears. She said, “My dear, the most important body part is your shoulder.”

I asked, “Is it because it holds up my head?”

She replied, “No, it is because it can hold the head of a friend or a loved one when they cry. Everybody needs a shoulder to cry on sometime in life, my dear. I only hope that you have enough love and friends that you will always have a shoulder to cry on when you need it.”

That is the wonderful thing about friendship-you always feel loved and cared about. Friendship is the offspring of spiritual affinity and unless that affinity is created in a moment, it will not be created for years or even generations.

The most beautiful discovery friends can make is that they can grow separately without growing apart.

– About the Author:

MA (English),PGDMM,MBA (Faculty of Management Studies,University of Delhi,India), Management Education,Training & Soft Skills Consultant. Over 35 years Industry,Education and Training experience.

Associate Professor and Head,Department of Management Studies, Jagannath International Management School(affiliated to GGS Indraprastha University,New Delhi,India)

50 Things You Need To Give Up Today

When you stop chasing the wrong things, you give the right things a chance to catch you.

So starting today…

  1. Give up trying to be perfect. – The real world doesn’t reward perfectionists, it rewards people who get things done.  Read Getting Things Done.
  2. Give up comparing yourself to others. – The only person you are competing against is yourself.
  3. Give up dwelling on the past or worrying too much about the future. – Right now is the only moment guaranteed to you.  Right now is life.  Don’t miss it.
  4. Give up complaining. – Do something about it.
  5. Give up holding grudges. – Grudges are a waste of perfect happiness.
  6. Give up waiting. – What we don’t start today won’t be finished by tomorrow.  Knowledge and intelligence are both useless without action.
  7. Give up lying. – In the long-run the truth always reveals itself.  Either you own up to your actions or your actions will ultimately own you.
  8. Give up trying to avoid mistakes. – The only mistake that can truly hurt you is choosing to do nothing simply because you’re too scared to make a mistake.
  9. Give up saying, “I can’t.” – As Henry Ford put it, “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you are right.”
  10. Give up trying to be everything to everyone. – Making one person smile can change the world.  Maybe not the whole world, but their world.  Start small.  Start now.
  11. Give up thinking you’re not ready. – Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises.  Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first.
  12. Give up setting small goals for yourself. – Many people set small goals because they’re afraid to fail.  Ironically, setting these small goals is what makes them fail.
  13. Give up trying to do everything by yourself. – You are the sum of the people you spend the most time with.  If you work together, you will be far more capable and powerful than you ever could have been alone.
  14. Give up buying things you don’t need. – Manage your money wisely so your money does not manage you.  Do not spend to impress others.  Do not live life trying to fool yourself into thinking wealth is measured in material objects.  Read I Will Teach You To Be Rich.
  15. Give up blaming others for your troubles. – The extent to which you can live your dream life depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your life.  When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you give others power over that part of your life.
  16. Give up making mountains out of molehills. – One way to check if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: “Will this matter in one year’s time?  Three years?  Five years?  If not, then it’s not worth worrying about.
  17. Give up trying to live up to the expectations of others. – Work on it for real and exceed your own expectations.  Everything else will fall into place.
  18. Give up the ‘easy street’ mentality. – There is too much emphasis on finding a ‘quick fix’ in today’s society.  For example taking diet pills to lose weight instead of exercising and eating well.  No amount of magic fairy dust replaces diligent, focused, hard work.
  19. Give up making promises you can’t keep. – Don’t over-promise.  Over-deliver on everything you do.
  20. Give up letting your thoughts and feelings bottle up inside. – People are not mind readers.  They will never know how you feel unless you tell them.
  21. Give up beating around the bush. – Say what you mean and mean what you say.  Communicate effectively.
  22. Give up avoiding change. – However good or bad a situation is now, it will change.  That’s the one thing you can count on.  So embrace change and realize that change happens for a reason.  It won’t always be easy or obvious at first, but in the end it will be worth it.
  23. Give up your sense of entitlement. – Nobody is entitled to anything in this world.  We are all equal.  We breathe the same air.  We get what we give.  We get what we earn.
  24. Give up waiting until the last minute. – Those who fail to plan, plan to fail.
  25. Give up being dramatic. – Stay out of other people’s drama and don’t needlessly create your own.
  26. Give up being anti-athletic. – Get your body moving!  Simply take a long, relaxing walk or commit 30 minutes to an at-home exercise program like the P90X workout.
  27. Give up junk food. – You are what you eat.  Read The 4-Hour Body.
  28. Give up eating as a means of entertainment. – Don’t eat when you’re bored.  Eat when you’re hungry.
  29. Give up foolish habits that you know are foolish. – Don’t text and drive.  Don’t drink and drive.  Don’t smoke.  Etc.
  30. Give up relationships with people who bring you down. – Saying “no” to right people gives you the time and resources required to say “yes” to right opportunities.  Spend time with nice people who are smart, driven and likeminded.
  31. Give up being shy. – Network with people.  Meet new people.  Ask questions.  Introduce yourself.
  32. Give up worrying about what others think of you. – Unless you’re trying to make a great first impression (job interview, first date, etc.), don’t let the opinions of others stand in your way.  What they think and say about you isn’t important.  What is important is how you feel about yourself.
  33. Give up trying to control everything. – Life is an unpredictable phenomenon.  No matter how good or bad things seem right now, we can never be 100% certain what will happen next.  So do you best with what’s in front of you and leave the rest to the powers above you.
  34. Give up doing the same thing over and over again. – In order to grow, you must expand your horizons and break free of your comfort zone.  If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting.
  35. Give up following the path of least resistance. – Life is not easy, especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile.  Don’t find the easy way out.  Do something extraordinary.
  36. Give up persistent multi-tasking. – Do one thing at a time and do it right.
  37. Give up thinking others are luckier than you. – The harder you work, the luckier you will become.
  38. Give up filling every waking moment with commitments and activities. – It’s okay to be alone.  It’s okay to do nothing sometimes.  Think.  Relax. Breathe.  Be.
  39. Give up making emotional decisions. – Don’t let your emotions trump your intelligence.  Slow down and think things through before you make any life-changing decisions.
  40. Give up doing the wrong things just because you can get away with it. – Just because you can get away with something doesn’t mean you should do it.  Think bigger.  Keep the end in mind.  Do what you know in your heart is right.
  41. Give up focusing on what you don’t want to happen. – Focus on what you do want to happen.  Positive thinking is at the forefront of every great success story.  If you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you’ll often find that you’re right.
  42. Give up taking yourself so seriously. – Few others do anyway.  So enjoy yourself and have a little fun while you can.
  43. Give up spending your life working in a career field you’re not passionate about. – Life is too short for such nonsense.  The right career choice is based on one key point: Finding hard work you love doing.  So if you catch yourself working hard and loving every minute of it, don’t stop.  You’re on to something big.  Because hard work ain’t hard when you concentrate on your passions.  Read The 4-Hour Workweek.
  44. Give up thinking about the things you don’t have. – Appreciate everything you do have.  Many people aren’t so lucky.
  45. Give up doubting others. – People who are determined do remarkable things.  Remember, the one who says it can’t be done should never interrupt the one doing it.
  46. Give up fussing with every beauty product on the market. – Good looks attracts the eyes.  Personality attracts the heart.  Be proud to be you.  That’s when you’re beautiful.
  47. Give up trying to fit in. – Don’t mold yourself into someone you’re not.  Be yourself.  Oftentimes, the only reason they want you to fit in is that once you do they can ignore you and go about their business.
  48. Give up trying to be different for the sake of being different. – Nonconformity for the sake of nonconformity is conformity.  When people try too hard to be different, they usually end up being just like everyone else who is trying to be different.  Once again, be yourself.
  49. Give up trying to avoid risk. – There’s no such thing as ‘risk free.’  Everything you do or don’t do has an inherent risk.
  50. Give up putting your own needs on the back burner. – Yes, help others, but help yourself too.  If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.

And remember, mistakes make us human, failures help us grow, hope keeps us going and love is the reason we’re alive.  So keep learning, loving and living.  Never give up on yourself.

Full of hatred ..WHY.

~If you keep thinking of all the ways in which others cheated you, fought with you, degraded you or angered and blamed you instead of looking At themselves ; your heart will forever be full of hatred. Learn to let go. And be happy.~

 I am ME Joanne Wellington. I am perfectly imperfect. but I am HAPPY. I am Kind. I am Compassiontionate. I am LOVE. I believe in forgiving everyone for everything so my soul doesn’t get ripped apart. I choose my battles…and  sometimes I don’t its life…its all part of a learning process. I have learned to deeply love myself and to put myself above anyone else first it’s the only way to stay intact don’t let people drag you down in any way as someone will always try . I forgive myself on a daily basis to get through. But I am HUMAN. I am MISTAKES. I am a CYCLE. I don’t HATE. I don’t JUDGE. I don’t ENVY. I am the people who I serve and the people that I hate, therefore, I must treat the people that I love the way I expect to be treated and hate no one. I can only be ME and if that is not good enough for YOU, then go get…. stepping’ *wink* and take care.

 “I DON’T DEAL WITH NEGATIVITY AND PETTINESS”. I am BEYOND that so I will always keep it cool. I demand respect because I WILL NEVER DISRESPECT anyone of you. SO PLEASE COME CORRECT!

Cease all criticism of yourself and others. Accept yourself as you are. Praise yourself as much as you can. Criticism breaks down the inner spirit… of course you know your going threw it, praise builds it up. Look into a mirror often and simply say: I LOVE YOU, I REALLY LOVE YOU AND IM GOING TO LOOK AFTER YOU WELL .

~I AM ON A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY…JOIN ME~

Copyright © 2010,2015 Joanne Wellington All Rights Reserved.

Happiness And peace

 

The happiest people are those who create life aligned with the positive values of their Spirit 🙂
They remain kind when faced with rudeness 🙂
They stay peaceful when facing conflict 🙂
They are honest 🙂
Happy people choose to repeatedly do the right thing because they know behaving positively is one way to create happiness 🙂
Blessings of much love , pure joy and full awareness…  

________♥ ʟσѵє ♥____________♥ ʟσѵє ♥(
______♥ ʟσѵє ♥(_.•`¯_______♥ ʟσѵє ♥(_.•`¯)♥
____♥ ʟσѵє ♥(_.•`¯)♥ ʟσ___♥ ʟσѵє ♥(_.•`¯)♥ ʟσ
___♥ ʟσѵє ♥(_.•`¯)♥ ʟσѵє ♥(_.•`¯)♥ _______♥ ʟσ
__♥ ʟσѵє ♥(_.•`¯)♥ ʟσѵє ♥(_.•`¯)♥ _________♥ ʟσ
_♥ ʟσѵє ♥(_.•`¯)♥ ʟσѵє ♥(_.•`¯)♥ ʟσѵє_______♥ ʟσ
♥ ʟσѵє ♥(_.•`¯)♥ ʟσѵє ♥(_.•`¯)♥ ʟσѵє ♥(_______♥L
♥ ʟσѵє ♥(_.•`¯)♥ ʟσѵє ♥(_.•`¯)♥ ʟσѵє ♥(_.•`¯__♥ ʟ
♥ ʟσѵє ♥(_.•`¯)♥ ʟσѵє ♥(_.•`¯)♥ ʟσѵє ♥(_.•`¯)♥ _♥
♥ ʟσѵє ♥(_.•`¯)♥ ʟσѵє ♥(_.•`¯)♥ ʟσѵє ♥(_.•`¯)♥ ʟσ
♥ ʟσѵє ♥(_.•`¯)♥ ʟσѵє ♥(_.•`¯)♥ ʟσѵє ♥(_.•`¯)♥ ʟσ
_♥ ʟσѵє ♥(_.•`¯)♥ ʟσѵє ♥(_.•`¯)♥ ʟσѵє ♥(_.•`¯)♥
__♥ ʟσѵє ♥(_.•`¯)♥ ʟσѵє ♥(_.•`¯)♥ ʟσѵє ♥(_.•`¯)
____♥ ʟσѵє ♥(_.•`¯)♥ ʟσѵє ♥(_.•`¯)♥ ʟσѵє ♥(_.•
______♥ ʟσѵє ♥(_.•`¯)♥ ʟσѵє ♥(_.•`¯)♥ ʟσѵє
_________♥ ʟσѵє ♥(_.•`¯)♥ ʟσѵє ♥(_.•`¯)♥
____________♥ ʟσѵє ♥(_.•`¯)♥ ʟσѵє ♥(_
______________♥ ʟσѵє ♥(_.•`¯)♥ ʟσѵ
_________________♥ ʟσѵє ♥(_.•`
___________________♥ ʟσѵє ♥(

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