Powerful words from Anthony Hopkins : must read.

POWERFUL WORDS FROM ANTHONY HOPKINS: MUST READ.
Anthony Hopkins

”Let go of people who aren’t ready to love you yet!

This is the hardest thing you’ll have to do in your life and it will also be the most important thing: stop giving your love to those who aren’t ready to love you yet.


Stop hard conversations with people who don’t want to change.
Stop showing up for people who are indifferent to your presence.

Stop loving people who aren’t ready to love you.

I know your instincts do everything to win the good mercy of everyone around you, but it’s also the impulse that will steal your time, energy and mental, physical and spiritual health.

When you start manifesting yourself in your life, completely, with joy, interest and commitment, not everyone will be ready to find you in this place of pure sincerity.

That doesn’t mean that you have to change who you are. That means you have to stop loving people who don’t want to love you yet.

When you are excluded, subtly offended, forgotten or easily ignored by people you give time to, you don’t do yourself any favour by allowing them your energy and your life.

The truth is that you’re not for everyone…

And that not everyone is for you…
That makes this world so special, when you find the few people you have friendship, love or a true relationship with…
You will know how valuable that is…
Because you have experienced what isn’t…
But the more time you spend trying to make you loved by someone who cant…
The more time you waste depriving the same connection…
There are billions of people on this planet, and many of them will end up with you, on their level, with their vibration, from where they stand…
But…

The smaller you stay, involved in the privacy of people who use you as a pillow, background option, a therapist and a strategy for their emotional healing…
More time you stay out of the community you wish for.

If you stop showing up, you might be less wanted…
If you stop trying, the relationship might stop…
If you stop texting, your phone stays dark for days and weeks…
Maybe if you stop loving someone, the love between you will dissolve…
That doesn’t mean you ruined a relationship!
That means all this relationship had was the energy that only you and you hire to keep it in the air.

It’s not love

That’s attachment.
That’s wanting to give a chance to those who don’t want it!
The most valuable and most important thing you have in your life is your energy.

Its not just your time because it’s limited…

It’s your energy!
What you give every day is what will become more and more in your life.
It’s the ones you give time and energy that will define your existence.

When you realize this, you start to understand why you are so impatient when you spend your time with people that don’t suit you, and in activities, places, situations that don’t suit you.

You’re starting to realize that the most important thing you can do for your life, for yourself and for everyone you know, protect your energy stronger than anything.
Turn your life into a safe sanctuary where only ” compatible ” people with you are allowed.

You are not responsible for saving people.

You are not responsible to convince them to be saved.
It’s not your job to exist for people and give them your life, little by little, moment after the moment!
Because if you feel bad or if you feel obliged; you are the root of all of this by your insisting, afraid they promise you the favours you won’t give them…
It’s your only fact to realize that you are the loved one of your destiny and to accept the love you think you deserve.


Decide you deserve a true friendship.
Wait then… just a minute…
And look how everything is starting to change…”

Anthony Hopkins ❤

Feeling overwhelmed and helpless?

Often times, life throws challenging situations at us that are beyond our control. Perhaps your  artflow_202010021557relationship with your spouse is becoming worse and you are tired of trying to make it better. Or, you might have been laid off from a job and finding it challenging to meet ends. Perhaps your business is failing and unable to keep up with the competition. Or maybe you are tying to find the right life partner for many years now. In all the above situations, you tried your best to get what you want a number of times, only to encounter disappointment time after time. Now you feel overwhelmed and helpless with the problem at hand, and no longer believe that a solution is possible. Does this sound like you? If so read on.

Why do we give up?

Failure is painful. No one wants to try again and again just to fail each time and lose all respect of those around them in the process . In order to avoid further pain, our mind simply gives up on us. When this happens, one becomes unwilling to attempt anything further as the moment we think about the problem, all the painful thoughts of past failure overwhelms us, and all we are able to do is to give ourselves reasons why any action we take will not succeed.

The good news is that whatever  the life situation or whatever life throws at us, we can always turn it around once we decide to make it happen! Here are some tips to orchestrate the turn around :

1) Believe it is possible to succeed

The only real danger is your belief that there is no solution for your problem – that you are indeed helpless. You need to first remove this belief if you want to make any progress. The fact is that all power to find that solution lies within you – you are just not seeing the solution yet.

2) Your past is not equal to your future

Your future has got nothing to do with the past. By taking correct action in the present moment, you can create anything you want. Learn from the past but do not get stuck in it.

3) Practice Persistence

Success takes persistence. People who stick around longer without giving up open themselves to success more than people who give up easily when they fail a few times. Successful people never stop trying.

4) Do it better each day

While persistence is good, one needs to always look for better ways to solve the same problem. Get creative and see how you can solve the same problem in a better way, that you did not attempt yesterday.

5) There are no real failures

Each failure is a stepping stone to future success. Failures brings us much needed knowledge and experience that was lacking the last time around. If the correct lessons are learnt and applied from past experiences, success if not far away.

6) Consult with an expert

It is good to get some fresh ideas from other people who have experience and skill dealing with the challenges you are facing. For example, some relationships that you could not improve by yourself for over a decade can be turned around in a couple of months with help from a skilled relationship coach. The same goes with other areas of life such as your career, health and finances.

7) Stay positive and appreciative of what you do have

Just because one area of your life is not working the way you want, do not fool yourself into believing that your entire life has gone haywire. When we are focused on what is lacking, we just tend not to pay enough attention to what is working. Practice genuine appreciation of the areas of your life that are doing great. Whatever the situation, each one of us has a lot to be grateful for, that some others may not be blessed with.

8) Know that this too shall pass

No problem remains forever. Most of us have faced problems that perhaps felt like the end of the world many years back, that hardly cross our mind at this time. With continued right effort, you will find the solution much sooner than you think.

Have a good day and take care. Wishing you health, peace and empowerment always.
Xxx ~J.W~ 🙏💙

To forgive takes strength to set aside what is often justifiable anger.

To forgive really is divine. It takes strength to set aside what is often justifiable anger. It’s much easier to hold a grudge. Yet when we make the choice and allow ourselves to put aside that anger and to forgive those who have harmed us, we actually do ourselves a great service. Making the conscious decision to let go of pain is the beginning of healing. But doing so is challenging because it is easy to become attached to seeing oneself as a victim and to hold onto resentment, even when the person who has harmed us is genuinely sorry. Forgiving someone is both one of the most difficult and one of the most spiritually rewarding choices we can make.            

While forgiveness is a noble act, expressing true forgiveness is empowering because it helps us to stop feeling like victims and to dispel our own suffering at having been wronged. Our levels of anger and hostility decreases while our capacity to love increases.We are better able to control our anger and we have an enhanced capacity to trust. We are freed from the control of past events, which can help us to stop repeating negative behaviour. Both our physical and mental health improves. Though many people feel forgiveness is something that must be asked for or earned by another, forgiveness is actually a gift you give to yourself…..  

Have a good day. Wishing you health, peace and empowerment.
Xxx ~J.W~ 🙏💙

 Copyright © 2020 Joannewellington.com

What is normal?

I have been thinking a lot about the word ‘normal’ lately

And have been catching up on my feed reading where I have found a mountain of people struggling with situations caused by this word ‘normal’. Whether it be in relation to sexuality and where you fit on the Kinsey scale or whether it be about being gay or whether it be about what is normal for a person of your age it is all very confusing.

Normal, is often perceived by social norms but even that is flawed because it is influenced by how we were raised, the groups we associated with and our personal belief structures. For example I don’t see people who enjoy going out and getting drunk as “normal” or stealing for a living ,challenging and wanting one up on the other all the time however someone who has grown up around that or socialises with people who do that may see that as “normal”  Culturally issues such as being gay may not be seen as normal because it is not common amongst peoples circles and the thousands of years of conditioning that people have received.

I have found that as individuals we each decide what we consider normal. In saying that I have found there is no such thing. Normal simply does not exist. I don’t want to play semantics but to me what we are really saying when we use the word normal or say that some action is not normal is that it doesn’t fit into our reality or it doesn’t fit with what I want in my reality. At this point we can either accept the differences, compromise on behaviours or discard people and situations that don’t meet our idea of normal (reality but loss).

Consider this next time you use the word normal and although I know there are a million scenarios and justifications both legitimate and not, I think and feel the word is just too ambiguous and most of the time doesn’t make a lot of sense.

I just had mention this By society’s conventional standards A very simple idea that can be used to classify abnormal behaviour is personal distress. Basically, if a person is content with their life, then they are of no concern to the mental health field. However, if a person’s thoughts or behaviours are causing them personal discomfort or unhappiness, then they will be considered by the professionals as abnormal.

From small babies to elderly grandparents we have a duty.

The family unit is an inescapable feature of our everyday life .While families should be fundamental to our feelings of wellbeing, they can also be sources of great tension. Whether your problem is troublesome teens, interfering in-laws, competing siblings, demanding parents or ill-mannered children, our guide to family life is an essential tool for domestic survival and it does matter how and what values  you want to choose to put in to
your children before you even start.

Children’s manners are getting worse. Table manners are a thing of the past, respect for elders and parents themselves is out of the window, and so on.

We teach our children to walk, we teach them to talk and, if we want our children to interact  successfully, we teach them manners: not just elbows-in, saying-thank-you manners but how to rub along happily with others – both peers and those of all generations, backgrounds and abilities, and this is what we would consider as normal just remember this: “In children, you will get back what values you put into them ”the same  also works for relationships”.

For parents.

Always try your upmost to lead by example, teach good foundations which is most important. Notice what you dislike in yourself and don’t teach it your children. Be polite at all times, listen carefully if you don’t listen to your children how  do you expect then to listen to you, if you’re a shouting parent you will have shouting kids, act deferentially towards the elderly, show consideration for people in public places of all races. Your
good manners and attitude will inevitably rub off on your children and may bring “back respect” from the lost generation .

From my own experiences of becoming a mother I have learnt the biggest difficulties of today are that no matter what values we do teach our children they are still up against the challenge of the word ” normal” and what is normal as they are always around influences of all sorts. As I said earlier in the article as individuals we each decide what we consider normal… “Normal simply does not exist or does it?”

your views would be most appreciated.

Written by Joanne Wellington for meadum2spirit

Copyright © 2020 JoanneWellington.com copyright  all Rights Reserved.

6 Signs Of An Abusive Relationship

6 SIGNS OF AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP. Nobody wants to be in an abusive relationship as it tends to make you feel and act less than what you are capable of. An abusive relationship makes you feel like a lower species of human beings or the lowest form of a human being.

6 Signs Of An Abusive Relationship

Nobody wants to be in an abusive relationship as it tends to make you feel and act less than what you are capable of. An abusive relationship makes you feel like a lower species of human beings or the lowest form of a human being. In an abusive relationship your partner constantly makes you feel less than a normal person so that they can control you.

Abuse in a relationship is about control where your partner does all they can to control you using either physical and/or emotional abuse. Based on that definition you may find shades of abuse in most relationships when angry people say or do things that they may not mean but what sets them apart from abusive and unhealthy relationships is that here the abuse is infrequent while in abusive relationships the abuse is the normal state of things.

In an abusive and unhealthy relationship your normal everyday reality is a constant tearing down of who you are through verbal abuse or emotional manipulation and/or physical violence. So what are the red flags of an abusive and unhealthy relationship?

1. They controls what you do and what you think. In a very real sense they are master over you as they controls what you do, the people you see and what you feel most of the time. They do this using fear of specific consequences which they have trained you to dread.  Think of it like being on an invisible leash which your partner holds by instilling fear of certain consequences from them if you go or do what they have not sanctioned.

You are thus afraid of any new situation as you don’t know how they will react and you are also afraid of familiar situations since anything can set them off. Are you living in constant fear of upsetting your partner or them hitting you for some vague reason? Are you plagued by fear of what your partner will do and does this determine what you do or don’t do? Then this is a noticeable red flag that you are in an abusive and unhealthy relationship.

 2. They determines who your friends are. To keep you firmly under there control your partner will make sure that nobody else can have any strong influence on you as that may weaken their hold over you so they alienates you from family, friends and social settings that they feel may threaten or challenge their hold over you.

They drive a wedge between you and your family, they disparage your friends and they emotionally blackmail you to give up ‘other’ activities besides themselves so that they are your only family, friend and life activity. Does that describe you? Does your partner have a tight rein on who you see or don’t see, where you can go etc. so that without their express approval you fear visiting even members of your family? If this is your reality then this is another red flag that you are in an abusive and unhealthy relationship.

 3. They gets worse with time instead of better. You may have stayed hoping against hope that your partner would change when they saw how much you really loved them and that you were doing all that they asked of you (and even more) but they seem to be getting more controlling and more abusive. Peace and happiness just eludes you in this relationship and the best that you get is the calm before the storm that comes between the abusive episodes.

You have come to slowly realise that you can never seem to make them happy since they seems to need to keep you in constant emotional turmoil so as to keep their hold over you. Does this describe you and your partner? If it does then this is a red flag that you are in an abusive and unhealthy relationship. You need to realise that there is no possibility or hope of any lasting joy with your partner.

They cannot treat you well because their own demons do not allow them to do so and until they get long term professional help your only peace will be the calm in between the abusive episodes until the day that you and they are parted.

 4. Your needs are never considered. Since your relationship is by definition dysfunctional and one sided then your needs for love, intimacy, trust and security are either not met or they are distorted.

Love becomes their abuse since if they didn’t love you they wouldn’t abuse you and the more they abuse you the more they supposedly love you since only a person with deep feelings would abuse you so much. Intimacy is at their terms and it is geared at meeting their needs only and the fulfilment of yours is incidental.

Your only security is that they would protect you from others since you are their prey and like any other animal they are unwilling to share. If this describes your relationship then this is another red flag that you are certainly in an abusive and unhealthy relationship.

If you would be honest with yourself, you would acknowledged to yourself that you are in this relationship to meet only your partner’s needs.

 5. You live in fear. A cloud of fear hangs over your head or is always somewhere within your vicinity. You live in a state of anxiety as you really don’t know what will set them off; all you know is that something will set them off sooner or later.

Sometimes the waiting for the abuse is almost as bad as the abuse itself since you know it’s on its way but you just don’t know from which direction it will come and the anxiety is almost crippling. If this describes your emotional state then this is a clear raised flag that you are in an abusive and unhealthy relationship.

 6. You feel physically sick. All the emotional fretfulness and anxiety from the abuse is beginning to take its toil and you feel ill often. Your head hurts sometimes or your stomach or your back or some other part of your body. Every day there is a part of your body that is not functioning properly and you are also not sleeping properly. You feel bad about yourself and nothing about who you are gives you any joy. A red flag that the abusive relationship is beginning to have long term effects on you.

If these 6 red flag are a part of your relationship reality then know for sure that you are in an abusive and unhealthy relationship and you need to get out today. Don’t think about it, don’t imagine that things might change, don’t deceive yourself that this is love…just leave them today and never come back.  The longer you stay the harder it gets to leave since you get used to the abuse and before long it becomes normal for you and you begin to lose your sense of the wrongness of what they is doing to you.

Rosy Anderson – About the Author:
Rosy Anderson is a researcher in social economic issues and the way they affect decision making; and she enjoys writing and being in healthy, happy relationships.