How Mindfulness Can Help You Let Go Of Past Hurts and Heal Yourself

Mindfulnes

How to Find Freedom from Your Past and let go of past hurts with Mindfulness

The past can often bring up painful memories and difficult emotions which can affect our future and our entire life. Letting of the past can be very challenging mostly because of unresolved issues. However, remembering the past is not what causes us pain & suffering and ties us to different negative thoughts & emotions.

It is our inability to detach from the attachment to that past which keeps us from finding freedom and happiness. Mindfulness can help us learn how to let go of the past hurts, the past and the attachments related to it by bringing our focus to the present moment and appreciating what we have right now.

“NO ONE OUTSIDE OURSELVES CAN RULE US INWARDLY. WHEN WE KNOW THIS, WE BECOME FREE.” – BUDDHA

Many of us have painful memories that we would rather forget—a difficult childhood, painful relationship, or traumatic event. We usually find ways to avoid thinking about them, so we don’t relive the painful emotions.

The reason they continue to cause us pain and suffering is that they remain unresolved. They fester in our subconscious mind, and manifest themselves daily in our attitudes and actions, and therefore, our relationships.

At the same time, we want to live happy and fulfilling lives. However, as long as these issues remain unresolved, we will never find freedom from our suffering, or realize the peace and happiness we’re searching for.

Here we’re going to look at how the mindfulness practice can help you overcome your painful past. But first we’ll discuss some of the sources of our painful memories, things we do to avoid them, and their cost.

Sources of Painful Memories

“BE CAREFUL WHO YOU MAKE MEMORIES WITH. THOSE THINGS CAN LAST A LIFETIME.” – UGO EZE

There are various sources of painful memories. The main ones are our relationships with our parents, romantic relationships, and traumatic events.

Many of us have strained relationships with our parents. We often feel like they didn’t give us some of the things we needed, such as love, attention, or financial support. Maybe they were neglectful, or even abusive. Whatever the case, we carry many of these painful childhood memories through much of our lives.

If we didn’t have good relationships with our parents, then chances are that our romantic relationships didn’t go much better. If our parents don’t teach us how to have healthy relationships, then we simply bring our lack of coping skills into all our subsequent relationships.

When we don’t get what we feel we need from our parents, we tend to expect those things from our partner. Sometimes we place unreasonable expectations on our partner, which are difficult for him/her to meet. This is where the power struggle begins.

Some of us may have experienced a traumatic event that we never fully dealt with. Some examples are verbal and physical abuse, sexual abuse, or even an accident. These can have long-lasting effects, especially if we haven’t sought professional help, or developed good coping skills.

Things We Do to Avoid Painful Memories

“MEMORIES ARE DANGEROUS THINGS. YOU TURN THEM OVER AND OVER, UNTIL YOU KNOW EVERY TOUCH AND CORNER, BUT STILL YOU’LL FIND AN EDGE TO CUT YOU.” – MARK LAWRENCE

It’s natural for us to want to avoid painful memories, especially if we haven’t yet learned how to deal with them. In such cases, we may feel powerless to do anything about them.

If someone else is the cause of our pain and suffering, then we may expect them to rectify the situation. But this is usually unrealistic. The person responsible may be far removed from our lives by time, distance, or their passing. They may also be unwilling.

When we don’t know how to deal with painful memories, we develop defense mechanisms to help us avoid the feelings associated with them. This usually involves trying to avoid thinking about those memories.

Mind shift.🙏💙

Charles A. Francis is the founder and director of the Mindfulness Meditation Institute. He has published numerous articles, and is the author of the book, Mindfulness Meditation Made Simple: Your Guide to Finding True Inner Peace. He has studied the mindfulness practice with Zen master Thich Nhat Hanh and has over 20 years of experience with mindfulness meditation. He is a speaker and consultant and leads workshops and retreats in Raleigh, NC, where he resides. To learn more, visit: MindfulnessMeditationInstitute.org.

Our Wandering Minds….

How To Stay Present When Your Mind Wanders

eyeOur mind seems to wander on its own, seeming to escape our abilities to tame it. How do we go about harnessing our thoughts and controlling our mind so that we can be present? This is a very good question and one that many have tried to answer. But there is no one answer, for it really comes down to you, not the path others have taken. Very often our own patterns of thought are stuck on a very personal cycle, repeating in patterns only known to us. And this is the essential component in releasing your thoughts and calming your mind. What one thinks about, what often comes to mind when you are not paying attention, is the key. You will find it is usually the same subject matter, if not the same thought occurring over and over again. These thoughts tell you what you are concerned about, or rather what you tend to focus on in life.

We create our thoughts, maybe not on purpose, but we are giving ourselves something to think about. When we let our mind wander like this, we tend to create stress and worry. We create a bigger issue in our minds than what really exists. Even if we are not aware of what we are doing, subconsciously we are manifesting stress and worry because we are focusing too much on one thing. We respond to this, that is why we may feel tense or worried without knowing why.

We can learn from our thoughts by seeing what concerns us when we are not paying attention. What do you think about when you are not really focused? What issues come up, and what keeps replaying over and over in your mind? Now this could be something you need to deal with internally by letting go of it, in order to quiet your mind. It may also just show you what you think is important. But do you really believe it is important? Maybe these are old thoughts that you feel don’t concern you anymore. Perhaps you can release them now that you understand why you have them. The real question is do you believe them, the concerns you mind plays with and struggles with?

Sometimes we are aware of what is really important in life and yet our mind will concern itself with what it wants. Once you pull yourself back and take an objective look at what your thought cycle is, you can understand it better. Just by looking at our thoughts we can stop the pattern and let it go. Understanding yourself a little better and seeing your thoughts as patterns helps release their importance because subconsciously we may believe them, pay attention to them, and even become overworked by them. Not only do we become distracted from the moment, but we also lose sight of what is important and real.

Do we believe our scattered thoughts, do we pay attention to them, do we let them rule our subconscious? Or do we objectively see what the issue is and release the cycle ourselves. It is not about breaking the cycle so much as it is about understanding it and then releasing it. So the next time you are not paying attention to your thoughts check in and see what they are about. Continue to do this, noticing if they are repetitive and what the main issue seems to be. Next find the connection it really has to you. Is it old, new, or part of something you have always had to deal with? Is it something that needs to be dealt with, or is it something you simply no longer need to think about? When we consciously release our thoughts, they will filter out of our subconscious. We can even quiet our mind and let it relax. When we take away our issues, our mind can slip into a more relaxed state, and we become relaxed as well. You will feel more at ease and even feel less worried in life. Instead of fighting your thoughts, speculate on their origins, question your attachments to that issue, and then let them go.

~J.W~

Developing Will Power and Self Discipline

Most people admire and respect strong individuals, who have won great success by manifesting will power and self discipline. They admire people, who with sheer will power, self discipline and ambition, have improved their life, learned new skills, overcame difficulties and hardships, reduced their weight, rose high in their chosen field or advanced on the spiritual path.

Self -dicipline
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The truth is that everyone can reach high levels of will power and self-discipline through a practical method of training. These inner power are not reserved for a few special people.

Will power and self discipline are two of the most important and useful inner powers in everyone’s life, and have always been considered as essential tools for success in all areas of life. They can be learned and developed like any other skill, yet, in spite of this, only few take any steps to develop and strengthen them in a systematic way.

What is will power?
It is the inner strength to make a decision, take action, and handle and execute any aim or task until it is accomplished, regardless of inner and outer resistance, discomfort or difficulties.

It bestows the ability to overcomes laziness, temptations and negative habits, and to carry out actions, even if they require effort, are unpleasant and tedious or are contrary to one’s habits.

What is self discipline?
It is the rejection of instant gratification in favor of something better. It is the giving up of instant pleasure and satisfaction for a higher and better goal.

It manifests as the ability to stick to actions, thoughts and behavior, which lead to improvement and success. Self-discipline is self-control, and it manifests in spiritual, mental, emotional and physical discipline.

The purpose of self-discipline is not living a limiting or a restrictive lifestyle. It does not mean being narrow minded or living like a fakir. It is one of the pillars of success and power. It bestows the inner strength to focus all your energy on your goal, and persevere until it is accomplished.

Both of these abilities are required for daily actions and decisions, and also for making major decisions and attaining major success. They are required for doing a good job, for studying, building a business, losing weight, bodybuilding and physical exercises, maintaining good relationships, changing habits, self improvement, meditation, spiritual growth, keeping and carrying out promises and for almost everything else.

One of the most simple and effective methods to develop will power and self-discipline is by refusing to satisfy unimportant and unnecessary desires. Everyone is constantly confronted and tempted by an endless stream of desires and temptations, many of which are not really important or desirable. By learning to refuse to satisfy every one of them, you get stronger.

Refusing and rejecting useless, harmful or unnecessary desires and actions, and intentionally acting contrary to your habits, sharpen and strengthen your inner strength. By constant practice your inner power grows, just like exercising your muscles at a gym increases your physical strength. In both cases, when you need inner power or physical strength, they are available at your disposal.

Here are a few exercises:
– Don’t read the newspaper for a day or two.
– Drink water when thirsty, in spite of your desire to have a soft drink.
– Walk up and down the stairs, instead of taking the lift.
– Get down from the bus one station before or after your destination, and walk the rest of the way.
– For one week, go to sleep one hour earlier than usual.
– If you like ice cream, don’t have any, for a day or two.

These are only a few examples to show how you can develop your will power and self-discipline. You may think that practicing such exercises is being tough on yourself, maybe a little, but they add so much to the storehouse of your inner strength. By following a systematic method of training you can reach far, have more control over yourself and your life, attain your goals, improve your life, and gain satisfaction and peace of mind.

Show and prove to yourself that you are strong and in control, and practice the above exercises for a little while, before passing any judgement on them.

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© Copyright Remez Sasson

Remez Sasson teaches and writes on positive thinking, creative visualization, motivation, self-improvement, peace of mind, spiritual growth and meditation. He is the author of several books, among which are “Peace of mind in Daily Life”, “Will Power and Self Discipline”, “Visualize and Achieve” and “Affirmations – Words of Power”.

Visit his website and find articles and books filled with inspiration, motivation and practical advice and guidance.
Website: http://www.SuccessConsciousness.com
Books: http://www.successconsciousness.com/ebooks_and_books.htm

Spiritual Vampires

Have you ever noticed after being around someone that you feel totally emotionally and physically drained?  Have you ever wondered what in the world happened?  The answer is you were with a Spiritual Vampire.

Mystical-HandsA Spiritual Vampire is not like vampires in stories and movies that drain your blood; they drain your energy.  These attacks are very real and happen on a daily basis.  Most of us go through life not realizing that we are being drained of our spiritual and physical energy.

Spiritual vampirism is real and flourishing more than ever in today’s world.  I use the term spiritual vampire because they are tapping into your spirit.  Because they are consumers of energy rather than blood, their own inadequate energy causes them to tap into an unsuspecting person (host) energy system.  The spiritual vampire feels a rush and exhilaration after tapping into the energy source whereas the victim feels mentally depleted and even physically drained.  Constant attack can cause the energy system to break down and even cause physical illness.

Read more >>> Spiritual Vampires

The Powers of a Positive Mental Attitude

positive-mental-attitudeIf you were to write down you thoughts for the next hour would most of them  be positive or negative? How do you know if your thoughts are positive or  negative? Do you have motivational thoughts, thoughts full of gratitude for what  you have and what is coming your way, or are your thoughts full of what you lack  or would like to have but don’t?

Now let’s say you are taking a walk  down the street with these thoughts you wrote down. Do you think anyone you meet  would be able to tell you what’s on your mind?

Read more >> The Powers of a Positive Mental Attitude.

How to Practice Relaxation Meditation

The basis of almost every form of meditation throughout the world is relaxation. But the practice of relaxation meditation is far more complex than an individual deciding that they will seek to relax and thus meditate. Relaxation meditation takes careful understanding of what relaxation truly means, and then careful practice to truly attain the benefits that are available.

meditation silhouetteWhat does it mean to relax? Some people understand relaxation to simply mean the absence of any type of hard or taxing activities that would otherwise provide physical or mental strain on one’s body. Unfortunately, this understanding of the term relaxation is far too simple in nature. True relaxation is achieved when one is fully able to remove their minds from the toils of every day living. True relaxation is gained when every day worries can be left behind without any lasting stain. True relaxation occurs when individuals are no longer bothered by the trivial pains of their physical existence and are instead able to cast their conscious minds to a higher plane in order to gain a greater understanding of the world around them.

So in order to participate in relaxation meditation, one cannot simply sit down and stare into space and expect enlightenment to occur. Instead, techniques must be employed to fully exhaust one’s mental and physical state to a point of relaxation that allows full contemplation without interruption from the physical world. Relaxation meditation can be achieved through a variety of practices.

Some practitioners find it helpful to focus on a particular type of music when they are seeking the benefits of relaxation meditation. Not all forms of music would be helpful in this pursuit, however. Music that is chosen should be complimentary to a state of relaxation instead of distracting. Music without words should be used to attain relaxation meditation, as words will simply give the practitioner a new focus instead of allowing their conscious minds to attain focus independently. In addition, the music used for relaxation meditation should be soft and soothing, not loud and disruptive. The music should allow the mind to float to a higher level instead of being so all-consuming that the bonds of physical life are restraining.

Practitioners of relaxation meditation may also find it very helpful to use lighting as a way to attain total relaxation and thus enlightenment. Instead of harsh and bright light that create an uncomfortable atmosphere, soft and dim settings should be used to foster a sense of peace. One’s vision is often important when practicing relaxation meditation. When lights are adjusted to optimum levels, they can then focus their inner minds visually on a particularly desirable image or scene that will help them to further leave behind physical strains so that their minds can attain mental enlightenment.

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