How Mindfulness Can Help You Let Go Of Past Hurts and Heal Yourself

Mindfulnes

How to Find Freedom from Your Past and let go of past hurts with Mindfulness

The past can often bring up painful memories and difficult emotions which can affect our future and our entire life. Letting of the past can be very challenging mostly because of unresolved issues. However, remembering the past is not what causes us pain & suffering and ties us to different negative thoughts & emotions.

It is our inability to detach from the attachment to that past which keeps us from finding freedom and happiness. Mindfulness can help us learn how to let go of the past hurts, the past and the attachments related to it by bringing our focus to the present moment and appreciating what we have right now.

“NO ONE OUTSIDE OURSELVES CAN RULE US INWARDLY. WHEN WE KNOW THIS, WE BECOME FREE.” – BUDDHA

Many of us have painful memories that we would rather forget—a difficult childhood, painful relationship, or traumatic event. We usually find ways to avoid thinking about them, so we don’t relive the painful emotions.

The reason they continue to cause us pain and suffering is that they remain unresolved. They fester in our subconscious mind, and manifest themselves daily in our attitudes and actions, and therefore, our relationships.

At the same time, we want to live happy and fulfilling lives. However, as long as these issues remain unresolved, we will never find freedom from our suffering, or realize the peace and happiness we’re searching for.

Here we’re going to look at how the mindfulness practice can help you overcome your painful past. But first we’ll discuss some of the sources of our painful memories, things we do to avoid them, and their cost.

Sources of Painful Memories

“BE CAREFUL WHO YOU MAKE MEMORIES WITH. THOSE THINGS CAN LAST A LIFETIME.” – UGO EZE

There are various sources of painful memories. The main ones are our relationships with our parents, romantic relationships, and traumatic events.

Many of us have strained relationships with our parents. We often feel like they didn’t give us some of the things we needed, such as love, attention, or financial support. Maybe they were neglectful, or even abusive. Whatever the case, we carry many of these painful childhood memories through much of our lives.

If we didn’t have good relationships with our parents, then chances are that our romantic relationships didn’t go much better. If our parents don’t teach us how to have healthy relationships, then we simply bring our lack of coping skills into all our subsequent relationships.

When we don’t get what we feel we need from our parents, we tend to expect those things from our partner. Sometimes we place unreasonable expectations on our partner, which are difficult for him/her to meet. This is where the power struggle begins.

Some of us may have experienced a traumatic event that we never fully dealt with. Some examples are verbal and physical abuse, sexual abuse, or even an accident. These can have long-lasting effects, especially if we haven’t sought professional help, or developed good coping skills.

Things We Do to Avoid Painful Memories

“MEMORIES ARE DANGEROUS THINGS. YOU TURN THEM OVER AND OVER, UNTIL YOU KNOW EVERY TOUCH AND CORNER, BUT STILL YOU’LL FIND AN EDGE TO CUT YOU.” – MARK LAWRENCE

It’s natural for us to want to avoid painful memories, especially if we haven’t yet learned how to deal with them. In such cases, we may feel powerless to do anything about them.

If someone else is the cause of our pain and suffering, then we may expect them to rectify the situation. But this is usually unrealistic. The person responsible may be far removed from our lives by time, distance, or their passing. They may also be unwilling.

When we don’t know how to deal with painful memories, we develop defense mechanisms to help us avoid the feelings associated with them. This usually involves trying to avoid thinking about those memories.

Mind shift.🙏💙

Charles A. Francis is the founder and director of the Mindfulness Meditation Institute. He has published numerous articles, and is the author of the book, Mindfulness Meditation Made Simple: Your Guide to Finding True Inner Peace. He has studied the mindfulness practice with Zen master Thich Nhat Hanh and has over 20 years of experience with mindfulness meditation. He is a speaker and consultant and leads workshops and retreats in Raleigh, NC, where he resides. To learn more, visit: MindfulnessMeditationInstitute.org.

When You Know Your Core Values, Every Single Decision You Make is Easier.

Tristimulus values
Image via Wikipedia

Written by Joanne Wellington for Mediums World

Sound core values are the foundation of a truly successful life. Have more purpose, passion and meaning in your life

In order for you to create this excellence anywhere in your life, there must be a strong foundation for you to build upon. Build that foundation with solid values and a strong sense of purpose, and your results will be nothing short of magical.

By living Your Core Values, not only will you be more successful , you enjoy your success more. You also achieve your outcomes with less effort and conflict.

From Core Values you can expect to . . .

 
  • gain real clarity about who you are  and what you stand for
 
  • make better choices about where you spend your time and who you spend it with
 
  • see why and how your values affect your bottom line
 
  • have more passion in your purpose & purpose in your passion
 
  • discover how your core values drive and direct your purpose
 
  • stay inspired and motivated; overcome discouragement
 
  • notice if, when and why you’re off-course
 
  • learn how to prioritize your goals
 
  • help your family and your friends to develop their values
 
  • get more of the right things done
 
  • stay focused on what matters most to you