6 Reasons Why It Doesn’t Matter What People Think Of You.

NOT EVERYONE LIKES ME
NOT EVERYONE LIKES ME

6 REASONS WHY IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT PEOPLE THINK OF YOU.

When we really think about it, much of our lives are often built around what other people think of us. Trying to impress others, being afraid of the opinions of others, and not doing what we want because of what we think goes on, or will go on, in other people’s heads can often dictate and harm our lives. Even the most confident people with the world at their feet most likely think a lot about what at least some people think of them.

In order to live the life we want, we must stop living in the eyes of others and embrace our own freedom. Here are six reasons why it really doesn’t matter what other people think of you.

1. You only get one life and it’s yours

In years to come, you will regret not doing what you wish because of what you thought others might think of you. The most powerful truth in the world is that you only get one life and if you allow other people’s opinions to dictate the course of that life then it may very well be wasted. We are so lucky to be alive that it is the most profound shame to not make of life the absolute most of it we can.

2. It is only shallow people that form negative opinions of what you do

Open, caring and intelligent people don’t look down on others for how they live their lives. The only people that do spend a lot of time fussing and stressing over the lives of others are the small-minded, ignorant and vacuous. Those people, because they don’t have enough going on in their own lives, they have to focus on other people’s lives and behaviour. Which begs the question, why would you care what such people think in the first place and why would you let them influence your life?

3. The opinions of others only describe themselves

If someone passes judgement on another saying they are ‘weird’, ‘boring’, ‘useless’ etc., then that is no judgement on the other person, it is a judgement on themselves. If a person really was any of those things why would they be spending all that time fussing over them and thinking about them? Such judgements reflect a weak-minded and insecure person.

4. No one knows your story but you

How can anyone pass judgement on anyone’s life if they haven’t walked in their shoes? Smart people understand that we all have our own path in life and that we alone must walk it and experience it. Therefore, you should never let other’s opinions influence your life when they haven’t seen, felt and experienced what you have. Only you know what is best for you.

5. You must live authentically

To live authentically means that we are honest with others, but more importantly, we are honest with ourselves. It means that we do not live a life of fake representations whereby we put on a mask and act to the world and pretend to be someone we are not. To live authentically is perhaps the most important thing we can do.

6. People don’t actually care

The truth of the matter is people don’t actually care what you do very much. The vast majority of people are caught up in their own lives, and do not have time to care about what you are doing. Think about it. Do you spend hours and hours thinking about what other people are doing or thinking about one embarrassing thing someone did years ago. Obviously not. Simply put, those that care don’t matter, and those that matter don’t care.

How Mindfulness Can Help You Let Go Of Past Hurts and Heal Yourself

Mindfulnes

How to Find Freedom from Your Past and let go of past hurts with Mindfulness

The past can often bring up painful memories and difficult emotions which can affect our future and our entire life. Letting of the past can be very challenging mostly because of unresolved issues. However, remembering the past is not what causes us pain & suffering and ties us to different negative thoughts & emotions.

It is our inability to detach from the attachment to that past which keeps us from finding freedom and happiness. Mindfulness can help us learn how to let go of the past hurts, the past and the attachments related to it by bringing our focus to the present moment and appreciating what we have right now.

“NO ONE OUTSIDE OURSELVES CAN RULE US INWARDLY. WHEN WE KNOW THIS, WE BECOME FREE.” – BUDDHA

Many of us have painful memories that we would rather forget—a difficult childhood, painful relationship, or traumatic event. We usually find ways to avoid thinking about them, so we don’t relive the painful emotions.

The reason they continue to cause us pain and suffering is that they remain unresolved. They fester in our subconscious mind, and manifest themselves daily in our attitudes and actions, and therefore, our relationships.

At the same time, we want to live happy and fulfilling lives. However, as long as these issues remain unresolved, we will never find freedom from our suffering, or realize the peace and happiness we’re searching for.

Here we’re going to look at how the mindfulness practice can help you overcome your painful past. But first we’ll discuss some of the sources of our painful memories, things we do to avoid them, and their cost.

Sources of Painful Memories

“BE CAREFUL WHO YOU MAKE MEMORIES WITH. THOSE THINGS CAN LAST A LIFETIME.” – UGO EZE

There are various sources of painful memories. The main ones are our relationships with our parents, romantic relationships, and traumatic events.

Many of us have strained relationships with our parents. We often feel like they didn’t give us some of the things we needed, such as love, attention, or financial support. Maybe they were neglectful, or even abusive. Whatever the case, we carry many of these painful childhood memories through much of our lives.

If we didn’t have good relationships with our parents, then chances are that our romantic relationships didn’t go much better. If our parents don’t teach us how to have healthy relationships, then we simply bring our lack of coping skills into all our subsequent relationships.

When we don’t get what we feel we need from our parents, we tend to expect those things from our partner. Sometimes we place unreasonable expectations on our partner, which are difficult for him/her to meet. This is where the power struggle begins.

Some of us may have experienced a traumatic event that we never fully dealt with. Some examples are verbal and physical abuse, sexual abuse, or even an accident. These can have long-lasting effects, especially if we haven’t sought professional help, or developed good coping skills.

Things We Do to Avoid Painful Memories

“MEMORIES ARE DANGEROUS THINGS. YOU TURN THEM OVER AND OVER, UNTIL YOU KNOW EVERY TOUCH AND CORNER, BUT STILL YOU’LL FIND AN EDGE TO CUT YOU.” – MARK LAWRENCE

It’s natural for us to want to avoid painful memories, especially if we haven’t yet learned how to deal with them. In such cases, we may feel powerless to do anything about them.

If someone else is the cause of our pain and suffering, then we may expect them to rectify the situation. But this is usually unrealistic. The person responsible may be far removed from our lives by time, distance, or their passing. They may also be unwilling.

When we don’t know how to deal with painful memories, we develop defense mechanisms to help us avoid the feelings associated with them. This usually involves trying to avoid thinking about those memories.

Mind shift.🙏💙

Charles A. Francis is the founder and director of the Mindfulness Meditation Institute. He has published numerous articles, and is the author of the book, Mindfulness Meditation Made Simple: Your Guide to Finding True Inner Peace. He has studied the mindfulness practice with Zen master Thich Nhat Hanh and has over 20 years of experience with mindfulness meditation. He is a speaker and consultant and leads workshops and retreats in Raleigh, NC, where he resides. To learn more, visit: MindfulnessMeditationInstitute.org.