Human leech problem…Is the process becoming one-sided?

“The Human Leech is whiny”. It thrives on pity and sympathy. The Leech will do anything to gain the sympathy of those


in its surroundings, and hurt those that are not, even if it has to make itself look sad and pathetic. The leech is persistent they will wear you down It’s just the way they are unfortunately for this lifetime and probably Meany more depending on what mind set they are at now!

” GET RID OF THEM!!! You can’t help people that don’t want to be helped”

Human leeches are those people who continually want more from us no matter how much we give them. Yet they refuse to reciprocate our efforts in any appropriate or meaningful ways.

Leeching possibilities are diverse and endless. It could be a grown daughter constantly asks us to baby-sit or to continue to provide for them as you did when children and is incensed when we decline. A neighbour routinely needs us to perform favours or lend him tools, or even expect you to abide by their rules of living yet never offers to feed our cat when we’re away. A co-worker is always happy to join us for happy hour, but disappears when it’s his turn to pick up the tab, in some cases they may offer to be nice to you in some way lend you something and expect a dedicated relationship for there good deed or expect an awful lot form it this is not in there good will its to trap you.

Whatever the circumstances, the result is always the same. Energy in the relationship travels one way. Recipients of leeching feel resentful. They feel they’re being taken for a ride. They long to stop the drain on their time, emotions and finances. Yet they’re frequently at a loss about how to stanch the flow.

Leeching creates a subtle stress that’s often unrecognized until it’s out of control. Many report feeling guilty saying “no” to the leeches’ demands. They dread hurting the chronic takers’ feelings. They worry about damaging the relationship. In truth, leeches don’t respect us anyway not in any way. Our relationships are contorted at best. They only want what we can give them. When the supply runs low, they happily move on to someone else.

Most of us are happy to help others. We’re eager to chip in wherever we can. We have no problem hosting the softball pasta feed on our patio or buying groceries for an ill friend. But if that giving goes on for an extended period of time or if our efforts are underappreciated, hostility starts to creep in. The process becomes one-sided. We know we’re being used.

Of course, sometimes the involved parties aren’t on an equal footing. They can’t give back as much as they get. A frail mother who has broken her hip is going to require on-going attention from her middle-aged offspring. She can’t possibly reciprocate their behaviour.

In those situations, it’s necessary for the adult children to care for the parent, making sure that she is safe and adequately cared for. Hopefully their own children will follow in their footsteps and be kind and attentive as their folks age. It’s important to remember that leeches can’t suck us dry unless we let them. Yes, leeches have poor boundaries. They don’t understand proper protocol. They see no problem continually asking for favours as long as others are willing to comply.

But they must have willing targets who cave in to their insatiable needs. They’re adept at scanning the emotional waters to learn who is willing to give them what they want. Then, once they’ve located a potential host spot, they attach their suckers and refuse to let go.

Tips for losing human leeches

Want to rid your life of leeches once and for all? Try these techniques:

Recognize leeching behaviour. Does someone always make demands on your money or time? Are they unappreciative about what you do? Do you feel resentful about what they’re asking? Do you have trouble setting limits on your relationship? Then you’re involved with a human leech. Do something about it now!

• Avoid over giving. Leeches prey on people who make giving a way of life. Yes, charity is honourable. But don’t chronically overextend. Give only what you comfortably can. Save ample emotional and physical resources for yourself.

• Decide on your personal boundaries. Leeches want you to feel pressured so you’ll say “yes” to their every demand. Instead, back away. Say, “I’ll let you know tomorrow.” Next, go home and analyse what you really want to do. Remember, you’re in charge.

• Practice the 2+1+1 rule. Have trouble setting limits with others? Use this sure-fire ploy: When asked to do something you don’t want to do, say two positive statements (i.e. “Thanks for thinking of me. You know I’d love to help.”), followed by your limit (“But I’m not able to volunteer at this time.”) and one more positive statement (“Hope the event goes well.”).

• Quiet guilt. You fret that your “no” will damage the relationship. Calm your fears. You’re doing the right thing, protecting your boundaries while teaching your leech an invaluable lesson.

• Don’t cave in to leeches’ ranting. Human leeches are accustomed to having their way. If they put up a fuss, feel free to ignore them. They’ll eventually stop whining and move on to someone else they can suck dry.

Leeches ~Are ruled by the green eye monster within them.

Seven steps to reduce your ego,

Have a good day Wishing you health, peace and empowerment.
Xxx ~J.W~ 🙏🏻💙

Copyright © 2020 joannewellington.com

Fear! Our greatest instinctual fears.

Fear of the unknown is one of our greatest instinctual fears. For many the first and almost automatic response to feeling fear is to to pull back into the comfortably uncomfortable zone.

That place where we know what to expect, creating a sense of comfort and yet, we are not fulfilled or where we want to be, leaving us with a different type of discomfort. A discomfort that is easier in the moment but has little to no chance of ever improving.

Each success comes with change. Each dream come true brings change. Becoming a parent brings great change. Each magical place you travel is possible only through change.

The greatest blessings you will ever know are wrapped in change.When the urge to resist or avoid change emerges, try remembering that this temporary discomfort is your choice, and you are welcoming growth into your life rather than chaos.

Change reminds me of a flowing river: We either spend our lives fighting to swim upstream or choose to swim downstream, harnessing the current’s power. Once you’ve decided to turn around in the water, though, there’s directing yourself through the flow.

When you’re ready to set your direction and ride the waves, it helps to catch your bearings first by identifying where you are in your change process.

When we begin to see the beauty and blessings in change, our fear begins to subside. If we take the time to teach our minds to see that everything we desire flows on waves of change, we may just find we become excited instead of intimidated by the process of positive transformation.

It is a learned skill, not an automatic preset. Wishing you all eyes that see the beauty in change go on just go for it!

Have a good day Wishing you health, peace and empowerment.
Xxx ~J.W~ 🙏🏻💙

Copyright © 2020 joannewellington,com

Being Realistic is awesome’ I found a pot of gold.

she♥~”If you have someone who understands you, who is patient with you, who loves you genuinely, who cares about you, who respects you, who is proud of you, who doesn’t take a day without calling or texting you, who never fails to fix time for you, who fears to lose you. Please love that person. Don’t take his or her care & love for granted because such people are very rare to find these days. Don’t let such a person slip out of your hands over minor disagreements. If you are the one in wrong admit and ask for FORGIVENESS. Handle that person with delicacy. Be there for him or her. Do whatever it takes for both of you to last forever. Be open to that person. Don’t be so nagging to such a person. Be trustworthy, faithful and appreciative.~ ♥

~J W~

“A reason why we do not regard others as precious.

“A reason why we do not regard others as precious is that we pay great attention to their faults whilst ignoring their positive qualities.Unfortunately we have become very skilled in recognizing the faults of others, and we devote a great deal of mental energy to listing them, analyzing them, and even meditating on them!

And then spend time putting others down. With this critical attitude, if we disagree with our partner, Lover or colleagues about something, instead of trying to understand their point of view we repeatedly think of many reasons why we are right and they are wrong. By focusing exclusively on their faults and limitations we become angry and resentful, and rather than cherishing them we develop the wish to harm or discredit them.

In this way small disagreements can easily turn into conflicts that simmer for months and even years. We can communicate happiness, acceptance and compassion to others by not doing great acts of devotion and self-sacrifice (Which often lead to great resentment).

But by the simple absence of fault-finding and censure, by being ready to empathize with their notions and feelings, instead of forcing them to conform with ours. We can LISTEN quietly and seek to UNDERSTAND!”  Try it today

 

Stop trying to analyse situations your way all the time !!

Step outside the box!.

 

~LET GO. Pain. Hurt. Grief. Anger. Ache. Agony. Affliction. Resentment. Madness. Rejection. Fear. Pride. Ego. Expectations. Tears. Attachments. Disappointments. Torture. Torment. Trouble. Wound. Irritation. Misery. Vengeance. Selfishness.~

~ALLOW: Acceptance. Compassion. Devotion. Fidelity. Enchantment. Humility. Friendship. Delight. Respect. Trust. Honesty. Kindness. Flame. Charity. Goodness. Grace. Patience. Sweetness. Thoughtfulness. Understanding. Tenderness. Yearning. Heal yourself and LOVE!.. Every thought you think takes you forwards so think wisely.~

Also view Mediums World .

Written by Joanne Wellington for Mediums World

Copyright © 2010,2015 Joanne Wellington All Rights Reserved.

 

2012 ~ The End of Past Failures

Introduction

2012 represents a new beginning for some people. However, past failures can cause many people to lose focus on their goals. In fact, some people give up just when success is right around the corner.  Society classifies a person as a loser by his or her financial success. According to Yankelovich Monitor, 80% of people identify success and accomplishment with being in control of life.  Napoleon Hill, the author of Think and Grow Rich, understood the crippling effects of failure. In fact, he analyzed several thousand men and women (98 percent of this group was classified as “losers”). Napoleon noted: “There are millions of people who believe themselves ‘doomed’ to poverty and failure, because of some strange force over which they believe they have no control.  They are the creators of their own ‘misfortunes,’ because of this negative belief, which is picked up by the subconscious mind, and translated into its physical equivalent.”  It is very easy for most people to point fingers at others for their failures.

FailuresDoNotDefineYouThe Path Forward

Successful people use 2012 as new opportunities for success. If individuals want to achieve something different for the year, they must understand how to manage failure and take control of their own lives. Successful people make it a habit to concentrate their energies on things that they control while victims concentrate on their lack of power.  When a person feels he is powerless, it causes him to be fearful. Doubt and worry contribute to these feelings.  Fear exists in the absence of control. Brian Tracy, author of Advanced Selling Strategies, argues: “The key to a healthy mental attitude is a sense of control, a sense that you are the primary creative force in your life.  It is a feeling that you are in control of what you do and everything that happens to you.”  Too many people focus on things beyond their control. In reality, you can control how you deal with a situation. Many so-called losers spend more time complaining about the things they can’t control. The following suggestions are offered:

  1. Develop a clear sense of purpose.
  2. Practice positive affirmations about yourself.
  3. Learn from past failures.
  4. Analyse successful people’s mistakes and learn how they cope with failure.
  5. Surround yourself with winners.

Conclusion

During these economic times, individuals must gain the tenacity to deal with the negative consequences of failure.  So who hasn’t failed? Helen Keller? Albert Einstein?  Oprah Winfrey? Steve Jobs?   Everyone has had some failures in his or her life.  Successful people rebound from failure.  The key is what you learn from your mistakes and your desire to bounce back from a bad situation.  For example, Thomas Edison, a great inventor, said about his failure, “I hadn’t failed, I’ve found 10,000 ways that don’t work.”  Individuals don’t need to become victims of own self-doubt because no one is destined for failure.  In fact, you don’t need to accept the status of “Loser” on your forehead.  By taking actions today, individuals will start on a new journey toward success.

 © 2012 by Daryl D. Green

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 – About the Author:

About Dr. Daryl Green: Dr. Daryl Green provides motivation, guidance, and training for leaders at critical ages and stages of their development. He has over 20 years of management experience and has been noted and quoted by USA Today, Ebony Magazine, and Associated Press. For more information, you can go to nuleadership.wordpress.com or www.darylgreen.net.

The problem isn’t that we have problems.

The  problem isn’t that we have problems. The problem is we’ve become weak. and we make most of the problems ourself.     There’s far too many people looking for “someone” or some “thing” to blame  for their lot or stages in life. We’ve become a world consisting of a self-serving, hedonistic life-style that only breeds further contempt, shame, cynicism,   and fear…HATERS, Look… Jealousy is simply the fear that you dont have value. You need to find self value. Love yourself or you wont believe that you are loved. Stop looking at others to judge and attack & look within yourself.

Dig deep find all that hate, jealousy & clear it out of your system. Use that energy to build your own personal & emotional security.Then you may be the one others envy & you can remember the pain you had & reach out to them. For what it’s worth regardless what you may say or do to me I believe deep down you are good people. It’s time to stand up and fight for those ideals and virtues  that makes us who we really are, that makes us human, that gives us strength and  faith; courage, honor, compassion, decency, kindness, sympathy, honesty, and LOVE, absent of fear, pride, anger, greed, and resentment. Say it loud, say it clear, “BE the change” point the finger at yourself for once i did it!, Instead change yourself for the better.

Wishing you all a sensual, warm, loving, joyful and restful  NEW START… Make 2012 a new beginning for you. ~JW~

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