Are You In an Abusive Relationship?
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent” – Eleanor Roosevelt
There are many levels of abuse. When people think of abusive relationships they often associate them with some kind of physical abuse. Although physical abuse is one of the worst forms of an abusive relationship, abuse does not have to by physical, it comes in many disguises.
The different types of abusive relationships range from emotional, verbal, mental, sexual and physical or any combination of these. If you find yourself in an abusive relationship and you are trying to figure a way to get out, you need to proceed very carefully.
Some of the warning signs are:
* They blame you for everything, especially their anger or jealousy
* They are violent or they threaten you.
* They control where you go, who you see and when.
* They isolate you from all or most activities and friends.
* They have bouts of uncontrollable emotional outbreaks.
* They demean you, humiliate you, insult you, or embarrass you.
* They make you feel insignificant and scared.
* They force you to do things sexually.
* They make you feel terrible about yourself.
* You cause all the problems and they cause none of them.
* And on and on.
If you recognise any of these signs in your relationship you will do one of two things. You will either make excuses or rationalise these behaviours or, you will gather your wits about yourself and do whatever it takes to protect yourself and get out.
Many victims of abuse are already dealing with low self-esteem and the abuser preys on this weakness to further belittle the victim so they won’t have the courage or strength to go anywhere.
It’s vital that you acknowledge that you are being abused before you can take the necessary steps to help yourself. If you are trying to convince yourself that “it doesn’t happen that often” or “he really didn’t mean it,” you are in for a rude awakening not to mention a lifetime of heartache and pain.
Just because the abuse may be cyclical doesn’t mean that you aren’t being abused and most times it will only escalate in the future to something you may not be able to handle.
A critical factor in protecting yourself is: the sooner you leave an abuser the better off you will be, because the longer you hang in there the more difficult and more dangerous the situation can become.
If you are wondering if you are in an abusive relationship all of the signs are there staring you in the face, all you have to do is open your eyes and begin to tell yourself the truth.
If you choose to ignore the reality of the situation you are in be prepared to pay the consequences of living a life of misery. You will be a prisoner in this relationship.
It pains me to even touch upon this next segment but, if you are in an abusive relationship and you are exposing children to this kind of a life, you too are an abuser!
It is your responsibility to protect and nurture your children. By exposing them to this kind of upbringing is not only detrimental to their well being, it totally skews their perception of how to have a healthy, loving relationship.
As they grow up you will be teaching them exactly how to be an abuser or how to be abused!
So, even if you are in the mental trap of believing you deserve this kind of behaviour; your children certainly don’t!
Begin today and decide whether you are going to remain a victim in an abusive relationship or take the steps to free yourself to live the kind of life you really desire.
You have the power within you to do the thing you think you can’t.
Side note: If you are in a precarious situation and need to secretly devise a plan to leave. Call a Domestic Abuse Helpline.
Susan Russo – About the Author:
Are you in an abusive relationship? Susan Russo has written one of the top breakup/divorce books on the market. Her direct approach is a wake up call for anyone who feels paralysed in finding a way out. How would you like to move beyond the pain and start to feel like a human again?
Spotting the Signs of Emotional Abuse (everydayhealth.com)