Straightforward speaking people… What do you think!

Most people don't hate straight – forward people who tell it like it is calling a spade- a spade, when required, or when their opinion is asked.

Most people don’t hate straight – forward people who tell it like it is calling a spade- a spade, when required, or when their opinion is asked.

But people do dislike a certain kind of person who blurts everything out without any sense of tact or politeness – disregarding the scenario. There’s a time and place for everything. Also people in general also dislike people – who rush forward to put in their two cents – to make their opinions heard when it is neither required or necessary.

They are like ”I’mma goin’ to pitch in my two cents even though its unasked for” These includes irritating relatives and friends who interfere and make their opinion/disapproval on what you wear, who you date, who you’re friends with etc. These judgements and opinions should best be kept to themselves unless asked about it.

For example:

Person 1: Response when his/her friend tries out a new dress and asks if he/she looks fat in it, or if that outfit suits him/her. “Honestly I think that colour flatters you more – or I suggest that maybe you can consider wearing that outfit instead of this one – as it is a better fit.”

Person 2: ”Woah bro/girl you look soooo fat in it lol.”

Person 1: Is what you called straightforward. He/she gave an honest opinion when asked and also tactfully. Yes you can be straightforward, and polite. The two are not as mutually exclusive as you think.

Person 2: Whether or not they realize it – they are being a bully.

If you are number 1 person – awesome – most people do not hate you but in fact admire and envy your ability to call a spade a spade without coming across as offensive. The only people who hate you are people who cannot bear to listen to honest opinions – they asked for.

If you are person 2 – You buddy have a foot in the mouth problem. Learn to exercise some tact. Also not every damn statement/opnion that you think of has to be verbalized you know – its not as important as you think it is.

So I’d like to lay out a few pointers I’ve learned about speaking tactfully. This list isn’t all inclusive, but it certainly is a great place to start. I’ll start with five important parts of a meaningful conversation. 

5 Steps To A Meaningful Conversation

  • Listen.
    OK. So that’s not officially a way to talk, but it certainly is an important step in setting the foundation for when you do {talk}. Focus on what the other person is saying and stop your brain from coming up with the reasons why they are wrong or what you will say next.
  • Clarify.
    A tactful response is an informed response. According to Proverbs 29:20, only a fool spouts what he thinks before fully understanding what is at stake. Take the time to understand what’s being said BEFORE you share your own thoughts, ideas, or opinions. Here are two ways you can effectively clarify: (1)Ask clarifying questions. (2)Repeat back what was said in your own words.
  • Think.
    That seems obvious. It’s not. Too often we speak before we think. I have fallen into this trap more times than I can remember. Take the time to think through (a.)what has been said, (b.)what you think, and (c.)what you will say before you open your mouth to talk. Better an awkward silence than the alternative! 
  • Speak.
    Finally, you can have your say and speak your mind. But remember to be tactful in what you say and how you say it. I will talk more about how to be tactful in your response in my next post.
  • Ask.
    And you thought you were finished after saying what you think! Nope. Your final step is to ask a question. This is very important and is your ‘best friend’ in the whole process. By asking the right questions you can ensure that your listener(s) are also following the same process as you. In particular, they are listening, clarifying, and thinking. Here are a couple of examples of questions you can ask:

“Does what I am saying make sense to you?”

“Thoughts?”

“Questions?”

“What do you think?”

“Could you repeat back to me what you heard me say? I’m not sure I communicated it well or not.”

Well we all have to start somewhere obviously, sometimes offense just can’t be avoided, but certainly we can minimize the possibilities if we just use some forethought before we speak! 

Published by

Joanne Wellington

Joanne is: Author, intuitive and founder of a network of sites and blogs dedicated to helping you define, refine and achieve your grandest dreams! For empowering tips, articles and resources, visit https://joannewellington.com/ or http://medium2spirit.com/ and begin your transformation today! Joanne always says...I don't care how much money you make, what color your skin is, where you live, what you drive, whether you're gay or straight, fat or thin, tall or short, beautiful or average. If you're my friend, I love you dearly, and that is ALL that counts! Positivity is free for the taking, inspiration awaits only to be recognized and confidence is always encouraged, her mission at medium2spirit, World of Inspiration is to inform, to inspire and empower people to be their best, both personally and professionally.

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