“If you look for the positive things in life; you will find them.” Author Unknown
I recently heard that 76% of all we tell ourselves in a day is negative and that 84% of all we hear in a day is negative. That’s a lot of negative going into our minds. I have also heard that for every negative we tell ourselves or others, it takes nine positives to recover the damage.
It’s easier said than done. I know how hard it is to change my thoughts and to focus on being positive. My kids often tell me that I can’t be crabby because I am a motivational speaker. Maybe they are right but I am still a mom and moms can get crabby. Being a mom is tough and it can be full of negatives at times. Kids get sick, they complain, we nag them to do their chores and the housework is never done. It’s easy to get crabby and feel negative. Yet we have a choice – we can choose to be positive.
I recently had the opportunity to practice what I preach. And I failed miserably. I know I am a motivational speaker, but I am human too.
I had a bad day. I had been feeling lots of stress financially and with all the busyness that I had let creep into our life. I was overwhelmed, tired and hungry when I came home from work. That combination is dangerous for me. And yet I did nothing about it. I just focused on the negatives and let the feeling grow. I walked in the door and was greeted by our extremely happy golden retriever, who I quickly dismissed. Well the more I dismissed her the more attention she wanted. And then I snapped right as the kids were coming into the room. I had a meltdown, yelling at the dog, yelling at the kids for telling me not to yell at the dog and then storming up to my room. It was not a pretty scene.
I went to my room and felt horrible. I had let all the negative things pile up all day long and I had taken it out on the ones I love the most. Our negative thoughts often do that to us, they come out towards the ones we love the most, the ones who had nothing to do with our negativity.
I had to go downstairs and apologize to my kids and to the dog. I told them I was sorry and that I have made a decision to change my attitude.
A friend of mine gave me a lizard in a cage years ago. She told me that when we focus on the negative or we are stressed or angry, we begin to think like a lizard. She told me to keep my lizard in its cage – in others words, she told me to keep my negativity, stress and anger under control so the lizard does not get out.
21 Ways to Be Positive!
Smile. A smile is a simple but powerful tool. It automatically makes us fee
better and touches the people around us. Are you smiling now?
Have positive reminders. Fill your mind and home with positive reminders and motivational products. Choose to surround yourself with things that remind you to be positive.
Talk nice. Remove destructive language, negative talk, swearing or complaining. These things rob our joy in life. Speak positively or do not talk at all.
Pay for your bad words. We pay our vacation jar $5 for every swear word someone says. Family members hold one another accountable. Find some way to hold yourself accountable for destructive language.
Give me three now! For every negative thing you say about yourself, you must say three positives out loud. Again, family members should hold one another accountable.
Stop gossip. Let others be who they are. Concentrate on only speaking positively about other people.
Be honest. When we tell the truth we never have to remember what we said to whom. Honesty may be hard in the moment, but you will definitely sleep better at night.
There is nothing wrong. Stop telling yourself something is wrong. There is nothing wrong with your life. When we live in the moment and accept what is, we stop creating the idea that something is always wrong. Live life accepting what is.
Notice life. By noticing your thoughts without judgments attached, you are free to just experience life. We do not have to fix or change everything – sometimes we just need to notice.
Enjoy the journey. Life is not a race – we don’t have to get there today. In fact, there is no “there.” Our job is to simply enjoy the process.
Don’t engage in negative conversation. It’s okay to just walk away without correcting or explaining. Just simply excuse yourself.
Pay attention to your positive thoughts. What are they saying? What do they tell you about yourself?
Choose positive people. Surround yourself with people who build you up. Get rid of the “wet blankets” in your life.
Put on your attitude. Choose which attitude to wear prior to getting dressed in the morning. Sometimes having a good day starts by telling yourself that you will have a good day.
You have permission. Give yourself permission to be positive and enjoy life. Being positive is much more fun than complaining all the time.
Plan ahead. Practice and plan what you will say ahead of time when others engage in negativity. Knowing what to say before hand will help you say what you need to say and to stay true to being positive.
Leave on a happy note. End phone calls, e-mails and letters with a positive message. Always leave meetings on an upbeat note. This keeps you from dwelling on the negatives.
Choose carefully. Be selective with your words. Once we speak word, we can not take them back. Speak less and listen more.
Practice. Try saying positive things to strangers. Try out being positive with people you’ll never see again. Try new phrases and take the opportunity to speak positively with each new person you meet.
Study positive people. Watch how they interact with the world. Interview them when possible. Look for ways you can incorporate their techniques into your life.
Down days will come. Realize you will have down days. Plan for them and practice good self-care on days that you feel down. Then remind yourself that life will swing back and you’ll be up again.
Michelle Neujahr – About the Author:
Michelle Neujahr, Motivational Speaker & Small Business Consultant Michelle Neujahr provides motivational keynotes, in-house training seminars and small business consulting services to organizations ready to take their business to the next level. She delivers high energy, dynamic presentations guaranteed to reinvigorate your organization and revive your people. With more than a decade of experience as a motivational speaker, Michelle has given over 1,000 presentations to audiences across the country. In addition Michelle has owned three businesses, worked in the corporate world as Director of Sales & Marketing, is an author and serves as an adjunct business professor. http://www.renovateyourorg.com