Do You Buy Into Giving People Labels?

“Once you label me you negate me.” -Soren Kierkegaard

When you were growing up do you remember the labels people would put on you or other kids? Even teachers and parents would label kids and typically those labels stuck like glue throughout their lives.

label peopleI’m sure you’ve seen small children hide their face when you say “hi” to them. I cringe every time I hear a parent say, “Oh he/she’s shy,” as if the kid is shy and deaf too!

When talking about their kids I’ve heard parents say, “Oh he/she’s the smart one, or so-and-so is the athletic one, or this one is lazy and that one’s our helper.

OMG….don’t people get it? Can’t they hear themselves? Don’t they realize how they are setting their kids up to fail? Children are so impressionable and of course they believe their parents.

It’s so sad to watch a classmate be labeled nerd, snob, bitch, slut, loser, fatso, shy one and on and on. These labels sadly define that child’s experience throughout their school years and not only causes a daily silent misery but it irreparably whittles away at their self esteem.

Can you imagine for one second if it were you who had to endure such cruelty instead of them? Not to mention how alone they must feel.

Unfortunately for some this kind of labeling continues its stranglehold into adulthood. These children grow up carrying around these labels and suffer with issues and insecurities throughout their lifetime. And, they don’t realize how little they deserve it.

When you buy into the labels that people have pinned on you, you never live up to your full potential and you allow other people to determine how you live your life. Worse yet, you may start to believe them yourself.

Don’t ever let anyone define you to be any less than who you truly are; a capable, strong, loving, caring, wonderful soul who has the potential to be, have or do anything.

People can call you names but it’s up to you whether you answer to that name or not.

Albert Einstein didn’t speak until he was 4 years old and didn’t read until he was 7. I’m sure they called him stupid! Thomas Edison’s teacher said he was too stupid to learn anything. Winston Churchill failed sixth grade and Isaac Newton did very poorly in grade school!

I know people whose parents have belittled them, told them they would never amount to anything, they weren’t good enough and if I can’t love you who can. The pain is still so palpable when speaking with them that it makes we want to cry and breaking these beliefs can take a lifetime.

So the next time you hear someone put anyone else down stop them in their tracks. The next time you tell yourself you’re not good enough, the next time you walk around with that old, worn out lie around your neck, rip it off, rip it up and throw away the garbage that other people fed you long ago.

Know deep down inside that you are who YOU say you are, not what others say you are. Know that you have people who love you and believe you are special to them. And without you, their lives wouldn’t be the same. Know that no one and no thing can ever define you unless you give them permission.

Go out today and celebrate that you can finally have a relationship with your true self. The self that has the potential to be and feel so much more and who can let go of the suffering that these labels have imposed on you.

Rejoice in your light because the truth is we are love, we are special in so many different ways and only we can choose whether we buy into the labels or not.

Susan Russo – About the Author:
Do you want to find out how to change your life for the best? Susan Russo is an author and coach who has inspired people from around the world learn the secrets of finding happiness within. Would you like to learn the secrets?

IT’S HARD TO BE HAPPY WHEN WE’RE SCARED!

There’s too much aggression in this world because we find it hard to cope with the frustration we feel when things don’t go our way, in the way we want them to. Where much of our time is fruitlessly spent trying to feel as though we have some sense of power over what happens to us and our life! But by the time we realise we’ve done it the wrong way it’s too late, as we are too old, too ill, or have lost our enthusiasm for life challenges, because we’ve burnt ourselves out trying to control the uncontrollable world we live in!

disneyBUT IT DOESN’T HAVE TO BE THIS WAY…!!!

Happiness comes from within our being. And even though other people and things can stimulate that happiness feeling, they cannot give it to us any more than we can give it to them! So why do we constantly strive to seek out other people that we think can make us happy? They can’t! They can only help us to believe the world is going the way we would like it to be, that is the thing that makes us feel safe, and it’s the feeling of being secure that allows us to feel happiness!

When we’re scared it’s difficult to be happy because we increase our anxiety by constantly being on alert for things that prove we are, or are not safe. We watch the world through spy glasses that we believe have mind reading and psychic powers that forewarn us when we’re at risk. We are reactive, which means that if our thoughts or feelings prompt us to do so, we take avoidance steps to keep ourself safe, and are ready to run to escape if necessary.

The problem is our thinking and feelings get distorted when we are scared. And even though our warning thoughts may seem true, accurate and real to us, they may just be a figment of our imaginary fear-filled mind! Where we can end up living life in isolation because we don’t realise just how deep we’ve hidden ourself away behind our protective shields. But it’s never too late to change if we’ve got the courage to try!

There is so much anger, frustration, death and misery energy being projected on to us from the media as world events are brought to our attention, where virtually every soul on this earth is being negatively affected in some way by something out of their control. And most of us are scared about our unpredictable future at the moment. So what can we do when our fear rises and we want to scream out ‘What’s going to happen to me or my loved ones next?’ as we struggle to pay bills we can’t afford and manage the chaotic changes that are being forced upon us by life, government and nature?

We have to change! We have no other option, as strategies we’ve used in the past to make ourself feel better will not work for us in the future. Life will take care of itself – nature will ensure that! So we have to look for other ways of finding inner happiness. Happiness is within us all the time, but we block signals to it by the busyness of our mind. So it might be to our benefit to start looking for happiness feelings inside of us – even though we’ve got other stuff going on, as then we may be able to generate enough good feelings into our conscious awareness to make us feel better!

This means we have to deliberately focus our attention and mind on the task of finding our happy feelings, meaning we have to look within us for that silent whisper of joy, that has lost it’s voice because it has been drowned out by our panic and worry. And even though it seems hard at first, as maybe there is hardly a whisper at all, the law of attraction demands that what we give our attention to grows, so the more we look, the clearer and more stronger the route to happiness feelings will become!

Many feel over-burdened by life at the moment, where sitting quietly and calming our turbulent mind and emotions is the last thing we want to do, as the adrenalin inside agitates us on all levels. But we need to rest our mind and body. We need to find a place of peace inside that we can run to when the going gets tough, where we can regenerate our energy and regain our perspective. And eventually, once we know we can gain an element of control over our emotions and mind, we will start to feel more secure in the knowing that when we need to, we can, and then just maybe we will feel happier than before!

May you have good luck, love and joy on your journey of self-discovery, and if you need further help, please feel free to check out my web site!


Written by Chrissie Batten for spiritguides.co.uk

http://www.chrissiebatten.com/

 

 

MY friends♥♥

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    ╚╗╔╝ … ♥x♥x♥x
  • ╔╝(¯`v´¯)
    ╚══`.¸.MY friend♥♥
    Once you’ve seen this award your mission is to forward this on to your
    wonderful friends who deserve it. you are highly thought of, Because of
    your kindness, loyalty and character you’ve shown to friends and peers, in
    recognition of your true beauty inside and out … I choose you ♥x♥x♥x♥x♥

Forgiveness is best.

Forgiveness (song)
Image via Wikipedia

Forgiveness is one of the best things you can do for yourself. Why hold on to extra emotional baggage that affects you to the negative. Release those who have hurt you in any way, take a breath and verbally say you forgive them. In time your emotions will match what you are speaking. Have a great day!

How to deal with a narcissist – The signs, the protection and the support

Do you have a cold, overbearing, self interested, grandious individual in  your life? If so, its vital that you learn how to recognize and how to deal with a narcissist.  Knowing how you can deal with a narcissist has many benefits, but the most important being that you will learn how to protect  your self from emotional, and potential bodily abuse.

As a narcissism  support practitioner over a number of years, I strongly believe that it is  essential to be made aware about the narcissistic personality so you can have  sensible expectations when dealing with coworkers, buddies, or members of the  family who might have a few of these qualities.

blame-abuseHere are some methods to  be familiar with a narcissist: Their motto is always “Me first!” Everything’s  all about them. They have a grandiose sense of self-importance and entitlement,  crave admiration and attention. A legend in their very own mind, the world is  mirrored in their image. They’ll corner you at a party, and narrate their life  saga. Some narcissists may be charming, clever, caring–that’s, until their  guru-status is threatened. Whenever you stop stroking their ego or beg to  disagree, they’ll turn on you and become punishing and abusive.      

These people are so  harmful because they lack empathy, and have a restricted capacity for  unconditional love. Sadly, their hearts either haven’t developed or have been  shut down due to early psychic trauma,  such as being raised by narcissistic dad and mom, a crippling handicap both  emotionally and spiritually. Onerous as it might be to grasp, these folks have  little insight into their actions, nor do they regret them. Though usually  extremely intuitive, they primarily use intuition for self-interest and  manipulation.

To find out if you’re coping with a narcissist, ask your  self the next questions:

* Does the particular person act as if life  revolves round him or her?
* Do I have to compliment him/her to get his  attention or approval?
* Does he/she continuously steer the conversation back  to himself?
* Does he/she downplay my feelings or interests?
* If I  disagree, does he/she become cold or withholding?

Should you reply  “sure” to one or 2 questions, it’s possible you’re coping with a narcissist.  Responding “sure” to three or more questions suggests that a narcissist is  violating your emotional freedom and due  to this fact being abusive.

Narcissists are laborious nuts to crack.  My recommendation is: Don’t fall in love with a narcissist or entertain  illusions they are capable of the give and take mandatory for intimacy. In such  relationships you will always be emotionally deserted to some degree. When you  have a withholding narcissist partner, beware of making an attempt to win the  nurturing you never got out of your parents; it’s not going to happen. Also, do  not anticipate to have your sensitivity honored. These people sour love with all  of the hoops you will need to jump through to please them.

paul2012frees  –    About the Author:

Despite all the difficulties in coping with a narcissist, there are excellent  methods and support services accessible for anyone struggling in a narcissistic  relationship and not able to move away from it for any reason. To find how to deal  with a narcissist, and what support is available click the preceding link  (or CLICK HERE  NOW) to visit Stop-The-Abuse.info

8 Harsh Truths That Will Improve Your Life.

They say life is what we make of it.  By the end of this post, I hope to have helped you decide whether that statement is true or not.

truthsThere is no doubt that life has its ups and downs.  However, how we deal with them can sometimes make all the difference.   Today I want to share eight harsh truths that I’ve come to learn from life.   There’s also a message in each that I think we can all learn from, and when applied, will improve our lives infinitely.

Some of these lessons may be old-hat for you. If so, look for ways to refine the idea to ensure your getting the most out of it.  On the other hand, you may completely disagree with an idea or two and that’s great!  Let us know your thoughts so we can all learn from each other.
  • Friends Come and Go

When I was in high school, I always imagined spending most of my life with the same people.  Then when I realized I had to move to college, that all changed.  Once again, I made some close college friends but left them all behind when I moved from the UK to South Africa.

Friends will always come and go in your life; even though I’m back in the UK now, all my friends are  in university around the country and not exactly in meeting distance. It can be a hard thing to accept, but many of the friends you spend time with now, might not be around in the next few years.

Important Lesson: There are an abundance of amazing people out there for you to meet and build relationships with. If you don’t have many friends, don’t stress, there are literally billions of friendship possibilities.

  • You Won’t Always Get What You Want

I remember one Christmas when the only thing I had asked for was some second hand turntables for DJ’ing.  I didn’t ask for anything else so I was pretty sure I would get them. However, they didn’t come and I ended up having to save for 10 months on my own in order to purchase them.

You won’t always get what you want in life: people are going to be late, people will let you down, items you want won’t always be available.

Important Lesson: Don’t look for happiness in material possessions and if things don’t go your way, learn to accept them. Life’s too short to stay miserable.

  • Many People Will Love You, but Many Will Not

Whether you are a celebrity, a charity worker or just a normal guy, there are going to be people that love you and what you do, but there’s also going to be plenty people that don’t like you. There are many possible reasons such as jealousy, similarities to them, or just not being someone’s ‘type’.

Important Lesson: Not everyone is always going to like you, and that’s fine. If people want to spend time talking about you then that is their problem. You are perfect as you are. You shouldn’t need everyone to like you to have some form of self-esteem.

  • Nobody Can Transform Your Life Like You Can

Wouldn’t it be lovely if we didn’t have to go up on stage, but we could just read a paragraph of a blog post and become a perfect public speaker? Or, wouldn’t it be nice if our friends could do daring things, and we would benefit from them as well?

The support and help of others can only take you so far, you’re going to have to do your own thing to make big changes in your life situation.

Important Lesson: Do things for yourself and learn to stand on your own two feet. People you rely on won’t be around forever, and you don’t want to have to use others as a crutch to get anywhere in life.

  • You Are Going to Fail

I built more than 7 websites before I created one that actually started making me any money.  I even put hundreds of hours into my own company that I actually closed down last month. Whether it is exams, projects, companies, or even the odd pub quiz, there are times when you will fail to meet your goals.

As the saying goes – “Only those who are asleep make no mistakes”.

Important Lesson: You can learn a lot from others, but it is your own failures that are going to teach you the most valuable lessons in life. Learn from your failures, embrace them, and use them to drive you on to success.

  • Rain Will Sometimes Cancel Play

On some occasions when you have your shorts on and you’re ready for the beach, it’s going to rain. Or, when you get to that first hole and you’re ready to tee off – the clouds will open. Things aren’t always going to go how you would like them to.

Important Lesson: Don’t stress about the things that you can’t control. Learn to live with things that happen.   You can’t change the past, but you can change how you react to things.

  • There May Be No Tomorrow

At least, not for you anyway. We never know what is around the corner, a car crash, a heart attack; heck…even the end of the world is possible. Let’s face it, although we would all like to live till we are 70 years old, that’s certainly not always the case. There will be one day that is our last.

Important Lesson: Make the most of each day. Make sure the people you care about actually know it, don’t worry about little matters, just make sure you spend time doing the things you love.

  • Someone Else Will Always Have More

Whether it is money, partners, friends or even blog subscribers, there will always be areas where other people have more than you. That isn’t to say you can’t become abundant in whatever you want (i.e. someone always had more money than Warren Buffett until 2008 when he was noted to be the richest man in the world).

The wanting of more actually holds a very important lesson…

Important Lesson: Just because someone has ‘more’, that doesn’t mean they are happy. Read the biography of any celebrity and they will tell you they enjoy their process of earning money, rather than what money can do to make them happy. In other words, focus on what you love, not what the thing you love can get you.

BONUS: Linking all the lessons here together is actually quite simple, and I can share the majority of what you need to know to enjoy life in a few simple bullet points:
  • Live life for the moment
  • Accept what is, even if things don’t go your way
  • Happiness is here, right now if you stop resisting and start accepting

Written on 2/26/2009 by Glen Allsop. Glen writes on the subject of Personal Development at PluginID. His site’s main aim is to help people Plug into their Identity, be who they want to be, and live the life they want to live.