Listening is an essential part of communication,

Listening to the world around you is not often a skill that is consciously practiced. Nevertheless, it is a skill that is definitely worth cultivating. Active and engaged listening can help you to better understand other people, the interactions of society and the world around you. The more you listen, the more you learn.

Listening is an essential part of communication, and it is different from hearing. Being a good and patient listener helps you not only solve many problems at work or home, but also to see the world through the eyes of others, thereby opening your understanding and enhancing your capacity for empathy. In addition, you learn a lot from listening. As simple as listening to and acknowledging other people may seem, doing it well, particularly when disagreements arise, takes sincere effort and lots of practice.

 How to Be a Good Listener

“Only Thing We Have to Fear Is Fear Itself”:

One of several versions of the painting
Image via Wikipedia

Fear…At some time in our lives, we each experience it – our stomachs are queasy, our hands are clammy, our muscles clench and we seem unable to catch our breath. We may even physically tremble or become immobilized…

Fear immobilizes our ability to make decisions and locks us in a state of insecurity and lack of trust.

Did you know….

  • 18.8 million  adults will suffer from depression this year
  • 2.3 million adults will struggle with Bipolar disorder this year
  • 9.1 million  adults have an anxiety disorder
  • 2.4 million  adults will experience a panic disorder this year
  • 3.3 million  adults will be treated for OCD this year

If you suffer from debilitating fear, you are not alone…the National Institute of Mental Health reports that approximately 1 in every 5 adults suffer with the anguish of a fear-related disorder! These problems will go untreated because most feel too embarrassed to seek help, or just think it’s a simple bout of the “blues.” In  some cases yes but in most cases, that is simply not true!

Agoraphobia, the fear of any situation that might provoke panic attacks, or fear of losing control. Agoraphobia is often accompanied by panic disorder

Fear are phobias that create a physiological response in their sufferers. When someone encounters his/her phobia, he/she will experience what is known as the “fight-or-flight response“. An increase in adrenaline causes one’s heart and breathing to accelerate, muscles tighten and sweat glands to activate, it also triggers a release of stored sugar, increased metabolic rate and inhibited digestion. The “fight-or-flight response” is activated when one feels threatened and is a sort of biological safety mechanism. With phobias, however, this response is irrational and does not serve its original biological purpose to keep humans aware and able to cope with dangerous situations in some cases

Although scientists are not sure as to exactly what causes phobias, many believe that they are caused by a combination of environmental and genetic factors. Phobia can be caused by a traumatic  event if someone almost drowns then they may develop a fear of water ..!

fear of confusion

fear of killers and robbers

fear of panicking

fear of death

fear of clowns

fear of needles

fear of stalkers

fear of love

fear of getting hurt

fear of the future

fear of car accidents

fear of not being happy

fear of being buried alive

fear of losing someone you love

fear of the past coming back

fear of someone not loving you back

fear of disappointing the people you love

fear of hurting the people you love

fear of not knowing what’s going to happen yes it could go on and on..!

An interesting theory is that humans are “biologically prone” to having certain kinds of phobias, such as the fear of snakes, spiders or other potentially poisonous creatures, because those fears may have been crucial to the survival of humans long ago and they remain in our brains to this day

studying phobias has raised several questions in  mind. For instance, if phobias are, at least in part, a hold over from thousands of years ago, why haven’t they disappeared yet? If we can adapt to have phobias to keep us away from danger, can’t we adapt to not have phobias? Or are phobias just a complication that comes along with having a complex biological system, and therefore complex defence  mechanisms?

Another interesting idea is that phobias seem to demonstrate the connection between emotions and the body. One experiences an emotion and then has a physiological response or is it the other way around? In any case, could understanding phobias be a gateway to understanding this mind-body connection further I believe so it makes better sense than having to rely on drugs controlling our body’s  although drugs may help in sever cases and they do in time but  they also help because we believe they do so why not believe that our own mind – body has its own drug hummm?

Fear can condition and train you to believe something that doesn’t even exist. Everyone has the right to break free of those ideas. Every fear can be flipped so it benefits you and drives you to achieve more. By actually acting from a place of fear you can compound that fear or even diminish it. It’s better to approach things from a state of your higher self than ego and fear. Our deepest fear is that we feel inadequate  and playing small in life reinforces that fear. We are all meant to shine, but playing small or safe does not enlighten yourself or the world. You can either conquer your fear today, right now, or be a slave to it for the rest of your life I believe that phobias are learned, and can therefore be unlearned …just take a moment and think about it ‘all actually  comes from frame of our infrastructured  minds..!

Fear is defined as, “an unpleasant feeling of apprehension or distress caused by the presence or anticipation of danger.” But what is the origin of this unpleasant feeling – fear itself?

Written by Joanne Wellington for Mediums World                                            

Copyright © 2010,2015 Joanne Wellington All Rights Reserved.

Learning and Growing.

Learning is like rowing upstream: not to advance is to drop back”. – Chinese Proverb

Realize that in every moment or event is a chance to improve and advance our knowledge. The more information we gather, the more we broaden our mind. Learning is an infinite journey. Yet we should never pretend to know everything or to understand what we do not. All this does is limit us, narrows our options, and destroys an opportunity for growth. Always embrace the chance to learn. By opening ourselves up to advice, ideas, or input from others, we allow ourselves to expand our knowledge, skills, and expertise. This is not to say that you need to agree or accept everything or anything at face value, but be open to it. Examine and explore everything with the realization that, regardless of how far you have come, there is still so much more to learn and experience. Emerson wrote, “In every man there is something wherein I may learn, and in that I am his pupil.” This perceptive quote is a tribute to all people and events—that in each one, there is something to gain, discover or take away, sometimes as the pupil and others, as the teacher. This approach will help you experience life at its fullest, increase your options, and foster success.

Each day brings challenges to strengthen our resolve and opportunities to thrive, but we need to reach out for them. Never be discouraged or feel uncomfortable because you do not know something. Adopt that as an opportunity to learn. Ask questions, be inquisitive, and always keep your mind prepared for new ideas or possibilities. Anything you encounter in your daily routine, whether meeting someone new, or collecting information, is a chance to grow and learn. Daniel Bell wrote, “The most important attitude that can be formed is that of the desire to go on learning.” The second we believe we are complete or have reached our potential, there is nowhere to go. The moment you think you know everything, understand you know relatively nothing—knowledge and information are infinite. If we consider ourselves green, we will grow; if we consider ourselves ripe, we will rot. Continually challenge and feed your mind with different ideas and insights.

George Matthew Adams wrote, “You are your greatest investment. The more you store in that mind of yours, the more you enrich your experience, the more people you meet, the more books you read, the more places you visit, the greater is that investment in all that you are. Everything that you add to our peace of mind, and to your outlook upon life, is added capital that no one but yourself can dissipate.”

Knowledge is omnipresent, all around us to gather and share. Lord Chesterfield wrote, “There is hardly any place or any company where you may not gain knowledge.” A great conversation is one that is equality balanced. Similar to a tennis match, it is a balanced exchange of ideas and information, sincere listening and giving—not a fencing match. Learn the power in being the pupil; one who seeks to learn and understand. When at school, spend some one-on-one time with the professors. Take advantage of their office hours to collect invaluable insight into a subject. Inquire about a topic and gain a more in-depth understanding. At work, find someone who specializes in a different field of interest and initiate conversations. In essence, make an opportunity to learn something new every day. Family or friends hold an abundance of interesting facts, stories, and events that can enliven our minds and nourish our intellect. Imagine what could be accomplished with just an hour a day on a topic or subject.

Never develop a negative attitude or allow life to become redundant. Learn to challenge yourself daily and be open to new thoughts or discoveries. Find the power in even the smallest things. Life is extraordinary, if you work at it. Clutch onto the myriad of opportunities that are around us. Create a mindset to look for something interesting or informative daily. Learn a new subject, a language, or skill. Spend time reading about an issue or studying an interesting topic. Visit the library where you can get books, music, DVDs or books on tape to listen to in the car. With so much to achieve in the world, never allow yourself to become narrow minded or bogged down with excuses. Be receptive to others; for there is power in perception and amazing opportunity. Keep moving forward and take in everything you can. Momentum is vital in becoming stronger, smarter, and accomplishing your goals. Always learning and growing is an attitude—a forceful approach and mature outlook for conquering life, not being conquered by it.

Written by Joanne Wellington for Mediums World                                            

Copyright © 2010,2015 Joanne Wellington All Rights Reserved.

Your Inner Strength "Will power and self discipline",

Willpower is the inner strength and the inner engine that propels towards success and achievement. It is the power that pushes into action in every area of life. Willpower is one of the most important and desirable inner powers, and its lack or presence determines whether you will fail or accomplish your desires and ambitions and attain success.

Willpower is erroneously considered as a quality belonging only to highly successful people, who depend on strength and force to achieve their goals. The truth is that it can be developed by everyone, and it is important, useful and desirable in the small affairs of life, as it is in the achievement of major goals.

If you usually feel too lazy, developing your inner strength will help you to overcome this laziness. If you usually procrastinate, possess low self-esteem, feel weak and vulnerable or lack self-control, strengthening this power will help you too.

Willpower, which is inner strength, manifests as the ability to control unnecessary and harmful impulses. It also manifests as the ability to decide, abide by this decision, and follow it with perseverance until its successful accomplishment. This ability gives you the courage and strength to endure and overcome inner and outer resistance and opposition, difficulties and hardships.

There are many who lack the inner strength to say “no”. Others find it difficult to follow and assert their ideas and beliefs. Some are afraid to take action and make changes or they lack resolution and the persistence to go on with their plans to the end. A strong power of the will can change all this.

It is the right and privilege of everyone to develop this ability. Everyone can develop it to a greater or smaller extent, depending on the desire, earnestness, ambition and time devoted to developing and strengthening this inner power.

Developing willpower and inner strength is a gradual process that anyone can undertake. Some will be able to reach higher levels of power, while others will reach different degrees of development, but the way is open to all.

Training and exercising your willpower will fill you with strength, courage, and assertiveness. As your power grows, it will be easier for you to get rid of habits and attitudes that stand in your way to a better life. You will gain inner strength that will help you at your job and at home, in your relationships, with carrying on your tasks and with accomplishing your ambitions.

How many times have you been stuck in life?

How many times have you been stuck in life? Maybe you’re stuck right now. Whether you feel boxed in by love, money, career, health, or finding your purpose in life, it’s easy for our human selves to become paralyzed. This is especially true when we sense or see that change is coming our way. You want to change, you need to change, you may have even prayed for change to come your way, but once it does you’re like a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming semi. Do you stay put and potentially smashed to smithereens? Do you run back into the woods? Do you race to the other side?

Staying where you are isn’t a good idea since you won’t get anywhere. Running back to where you came from won’t allow you to grow in any way, shape or form. But…running to the other side? That’s when the fear sets in. What’s over there? What scary things are waiting to harm you? What if you risk it all and the other side is a million times worse than what you already have? This is what paralyzes us. We’d rather deal with the devil we know than the devil we don’t.

You’re Always Changing

I talk a lot about change since this is what we need yet what we fear. Change is difficult, though necessary. Like the saying goes, “Keep doing what you’re doing and you’ll keep getting what you’ve got.” I don’t know about you, but I’d always like my life to get better and better. I’m sure you do too!

If you weren’t meant to change then you’d be completely satisfied with your life just as it is. Are you satisfied? No? Then guess what? It’s time to change!

Here are some words of wisdom from the Brady Bunch song Time to Change: “When it’s time to change, then its time to change. Don’t fight the tide, come along for the ride, don’t you see? When it’s time to change, you’ve got to rearrange who you are into what you’re gonna be. Day by day, it’s hard to see the changes you’ve been through. A little bit of living, a little bit of growing all adds up to you.”

You’ll never be the person you were a year ago, a decade ago, and so on. We should always seek to change our lives in big and little ways. Hey, just one small yet positive change can add up to enormous changes over the course of a year!

Take Action Today

Choose an area of your life that needs the most work. Where are you paralyzed at this point in time? Where are you in a coma, unable to move? Is it your relationship, your job, your finances, your weight? Since you’ve been stuck in this rut for so long there’s no way you’re going to change over night, but don’t let that stop you. I fully believe that when you’re stuck it’s because your aura energy has become like cement and you need to get it moving again.

What small things can you do each day that will add up to big changes and loads of new aura energy? Let’s take a look at some tiny changes that will add up over time.

Looking for love – If you’ve been alone for a while and can’t seem to meet “the one” then take a look at your current soulmate-finding-methods. Obviously it hasn’t worked up to this point. A couple of small things you could do is to join a class at your community college, revamp your look, make a list of the 10 things you need in a relationship (clarification can help clear your aura), join a gym or club, volunteer, take your dog to the dog park, go out with friends at least once a week. Gosh, the list is nearly endless when it comes to changing your energy field around so you can attract Mr. or Ms.Right! But, this is a start.

Choose one and make it a habit then choose another. Soon, you won’t recognize the old you and will have a new life and hopefully a new and wonderful soulmate by your side!

Weight loss – This is always difficult for people, even for me. For those who were born with the“fat gene,” have health issues, are very sensitive, are psychic or intuitive, or just fallen into bad habits, the weight can pile on faster than you can blink. Small changes you can make is to drink a glass of water before each meal, snack on veggies or fruit when you’re hungry between meals, take a walk around the block after each meal or at least once a day, find a fun exercise class you’d enjoy and will help get you out of the house. Again, these small things can add up over time.

Career – Who doesn’t want a better job? Most people are constantly seeking a better career hoping to find their niche in life. What did you want to do when you were a kid? Do you still want to do it now? What are you naturally drawn to? What are you interested in? If you have the skills already, make a deal with yourself that you’ll fill out three job applications every day until you get the job of your dreams. Or, fill out five applications on each of your days off. If you don’t have the skills yet then take some classes until you’ve earned your degree. Not sure if you’d love what you think you’re interested in? Try some free classes online such as those offered by Free-Ed.net, Online Education Database, or Cosmopolitan University. This way you can get in your education and see if you truly want to pursue the field you’ve picked. Studies show that 85% of all college graduates dislike the major they’ve chosen. That’s a lot of wasted time and money!

I know this was a long post and I don’t like going on for too long, but it’s important for you to realize that you don’t have to remain paralyzed with fear or confusion. You simply need to move one foot forward and begin the journey.